OK- confession time.
I’ve been off work for the last few weeks with a hip and back injury after slipping on a wet patch on the floor of the place we were staying in a few weekends ago up in Byron Bay.
I’m not too sure why I didn’t tell you all before now, but I think I just needed a bit of time to process (and be ok with) what was happening.
I slipped and fell on my left side (the fall itself still makes me feel sick to my stomach, I couldn’t get off the floor for about 20 minutes), badly bruising my left foot and twisting my neck.
But, the lasting injury came a few days later however, when I started getting bad pains in my right hip, much like an old injury I sustained a few years ago in London (you can find out all about this in my new book). Thinking that it would be ok, I took a few days off, but the pain continued.
So, I went to the hospital who told me that all the muscles around my hip were twisted and there was a possible hairline fracture. Yep, exactly the same as 5 years ago, when I went back to work far too quickly and ended up being off for much longer than I anticipated. (Hello type-A!)
I’m walking like an old, old lady and can’t really bend down to pick things up. I’m making myself walk to the local cafe for takeaway chai every day, and then coming straight back home.
In all of this however, I’ve learned even more about injury and recovery to add to my ‘portfolio’ from my time with CFS. I hope that one of these might resonate with you a little…
5 Things my Recent Accident Taught me about Recovery
1) It takes as long as it takes
Be a participant in your healing, but also accept that pushing it might make the situation worse rather than improving it.
I decided to walk slightly too far the other day, which meant having to a lie on my bed for a while when I got home. Not too terrible, but I really hadn’t listened to my body.
Our body doesn’t work on the same timeframe as our minds. Our minds are constantly wondering why we’re not better yet, but our bodies know that they’re working and healing for our highest good.
2) Feeling bored and frustrated means you need to watch your actions
After a few days I was absolutely ready to jump back into work mentally, but my body had different plans. When I told my husband I was thinking of going back in, he very gently reminded me of my accident a few years ago and what rushing back in did to me then.
When I’m in my floaty, dreamy ‘Aquarius’ brain, my husband is the one who’s realistic, and is more than happy to tell me how it is. Ever the stubborn one, I don’t always like this, but he’s always right (dagnamit!).
3) Listening to your body will tell you everything you need to know
I couldn’t help but draw parallels between all my time off with CFS and recovering after this accident, but it also showed me how much I’d grown as a person, and how much more responsible and accepting I was of my situation. I haven’t been giving myself too much of a hard time or wasting energy on the ‘shoulda woulda coulda’. I’ve accepted that I can’t move any faster than I am at the moment (my body is telling me loud and clear about that).
4) Others will understand
I very easily slipped back into my old habit that I adopted when I was very ill of feeling like a huge burden on other people, for example- asking my other half to help me unload the dishwasher, when I shouldn’t have been trying to do it in the first place.
Other people understand what it’s like to be injured and sick (they’ve been there too, remember?) and they don’t want to see you make yourself worse. Gratefully receive the help that is extended to you, however unnatural this might be to accept. (Guilty).
5) Stillness is our natural state of mind
I never, ever thought I’d be typing this, but I’ve come to realise that we tend to fill our brains with stuff, well at least I do, as a bit of a distraction sometimes. We want to keep our mind and ego busy, so we give them things to chew on.
When I was first off work, I was driving myself crazy, convincing myself that there were all sorts of things happening at work and they needed me back in asap, but I think this was just my guilt playing out. The old saying, ‘The devil makes work for idle minds’, can definitely be true when we’re sick, but taking real time out and going easy on yourself resets your mind, much like after meditation. I’ve been reminded of this stillness throughout my time off, and will try to come back to this feeling as often as I can.
The Meaning of Hip Injuries
ACCIDENTS: Inability to speak up for the self. Rebellion against authority. Belief in violence.
Affirmation : I release in me that created this. I am at Peace. I am worthwhile.
HIP PROBLEMS: Fear of going forward in major decisions.
Affirmation: I am in perfect balance. I move forward in life with ease and with joy at every age.
If I’m totally honest with myself, I have been resisting moving forwards.
I absolutely love writing, but didn’t want to admit to myself that this might be something I’d love to take seriously. I’ve been feeling for a while that I’m not worthy of pursuing writing and the marketplace is totally flooded, but this break has given more the opportunity to really see that I was putting obstacles in my way where there didn’t need to be any.
As much as I love Louise Hay however, sometimes things just are what they are, and I didn’t want to dive into the well of thinking that I was broken and that something deep inside me needed to be fixed. Sometimes we’re ok to go there, but my inner voice told me that I was doing just fine.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments below my love- did any of the points in this article resonate with you? What have you learned about recovery?
Lots of love from the sofa, Katie xxx
* All images taken from Unsplash