Oh boy, here it comes. Raw, unadulterated, savage honest- something I’m definitely not used to being…
If you’ve ever visited my Facebook page, you’ll notice that my official username has always been ‘Conquering Fear Spiritually – CFS’. At the beginning, I thought that this was a clunky, slightly inelegant explanation as to why I’d chosen the name that I did, to represent the letters CFS, and hence, the illness from which I have now recovered.
As of yesterday however, my name has been officially changed to just ‘Conquering Fear Spiritually’. But why did I change my Facebook name?
For a while now, I’ve been slightly confused as to the direction I wanted my blog to go in. I even wondered at one stage whether I should even do it at all. I felt that my energy was mixed and jumping all over the place, because although Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was once a part of my life and the lessons around it always will be, I felt that I needed to disengage from it slightly, so I can move forward in my own life.
This might all sound slightly selfish, but here’s the thing:
I’m not going to stop blogging about CFS and all its quirks and foibles, but I want to be of service to you both during and after your illness. I still had lots of pieces to pick up after I got better, and even now I’m still floating around on my shadow-side a little bit. But here’s the thing, I want you to rediscover your natural energy and enthusiasm for life again, not just during this time when you’re ill or not feeling quite right. Hands up, it’s not going to be easy- you’re going to have to dredge through the dark and not-no-sparky parts of yourself, but it’s a beautiful, lifelong journey, and I want to help you through it.
Fear.
Even as I’m typing this, I’m worried that some of you might stop reading the blog. I’m worried that you think I’ve brought you here under false pretences, but unfortunately, this has to be the risk I’m willing to take. I’ve wanted to write this for months now, and suddenly, the time feels right.
I have to be true to myself, so I can be of true service to you. I can’t blog from a place where the energy feels fake and false- it’s not great for you or me. I want to help you as much as I can, and therefore, I need to tweak my approach slightly.
Change.
What does this mean for the future of the blog? In all honesty, not a lot really, but there’ll be more spontaneous posts, more recipes, more self-love shenanigans, all the stuff that I really wish someone has shown me when I was recovering. There’ll also be a big community surge going on, so watch out for that. There will still be posts and articles geared towards CFS, but there will be a more holistic, overall healing energy presence in the blog. She’ll be more well-rounded and ready to serve.
Love.
I want to take this opportunity to express my whole and complete gratitude for the support you’ve given my blog so far, for all the emails I receive and for the participation and ‘hell yeahs’ you give me on a daily basis, even when you’re feeling crap and sh*tty. I will try and support you in the future as gracefully and fully as I can.
Thank you for reading and understanding. Sending lots of love and light to all of you wherever you are and however you are.
Love, Katie xxx
Sounds good to me Katie. I agree that you have to do what feels right and true to you. Personally, the name change doesn’t matter to me, I guess you are still the same person with the same experiences and the fact that you want to share those and support others going through similar things is great! I agree that detaching from the label is healthy and it might even be a positive thing for those of us who follow your blog too..? Anyway, I just wanted to give you my opinion…this won’t stop me from following you blog! I admire your courage and generosity..:)
Awww, thank you Erica my darling- that really means a lot! Thank you so much for continuing to support the blog- hope you’re doing well my dear- xx
Blogging is funny, isn’t it? It can feel like it is both our own experience and yet also we feel we are bound to those who read our words as well, as if our blog is theirs somehow too. I think that you connect most with readers when you write from an authentic place and so any change that moves you in that direction will be a good one.
I will certainly be continuing to read and look forward to seeing where you take this space in the future. Be well.
Thank you so much my darling- you’re exactly right. I hope that the things I have planned for the blog in the future will be true to both my readers and myself. Thank you my lovely- xx
Sounds like just the kind of blog I like to read!
Aww, thank you Colleen! xx
It makes no difference to me, I love your blog posts, whether they are directly talking about CFS or general wellness
Thanks you lovely Marina- that really means a lot! xx
Going with the natural flow of what feels right brings about so much more joy to both yourself as well as all of us. Some people may drop away but new and beautiful folks will show up to fill the spaces. I think what you have to offer the world is so much more than just about “CFS”. Everyone is healing from something if not multiple things. Your insight and awareness is such a gift to so many people, and if that means dropping three little letters, then that is absolutely and positively the right thing
<3
Thank you lovely Nicolle- your words have made me slightly emotional for some reason, but in a good way! So grateful to you- xx
Hi Katie, great post, and yes I totally get where you are coming from. I am trying very hard not to identify myself with having CFS because if and when I do, I feel victimized and it feels like somewhat of a sentence I may never recover from. I appreciate the awareness you have brought to the condition; I never realized how many people are suffering from such a baffling condition!?! I do truly believe this is a condition that is here to learn and grow from, and when all the lessons are learned and our soul has evolved, we too will heal. I love your work and thanks for being a candle in the dark.
With Love, Gratitude and Blessings,
Jada Rae oxo
Thank you so much my lovely- xxx
I’m new to your blog, but I totally appreciate where you are coming from (and where you are going). I feel the same way about my blog, it was there with me when I was first diagnosed, and it’s continued with me as I’ve found treatments and changes that have helped me overcome. It’s still there with me now as I continually deal with new challenges every day. But, I don’t want my blog to be about me getting bogged down in illness… I want it to be an inspiration for myself and for others. I say kudos to you for not letting CFS be your identity.
Thank you so much my darling- welcome to our little community! xxx
I’m just glad you have decided to keep doing the blog…I would miss it terribly. I understand where you are coming from and I’m happy you are following what feels right for you. I will always read whatever you have to offer and I’m sure most of your readers feel the same way, so don’t worry about we will all disappear. Much love to you.
Awww, thank you my love- that’s really comforting. My ego often jumps in and tell me that only the numbers matter, but I know I have to sit and meditate a little while longer when that happens!
xx
Katy,
You are brave and you are gutsy. I for one will keep reading. Thank you for all I’ve gained from doing so in the past and in anticipation of all I will receive in the future.
Joanne xxxx Scotland
Thank you Joanne- this really means a lot. Lots of love and say hello to Bonnie Scotland for me!
xx