Oh boy, here it comes. Raw, unadulterated, savage honest- something I’m definitely not used to being…
If you’ve ever visited my Facebook page, you’ll notice that my official username has always been ‘Conquering Fear Spiritually – CFS’. At the beginning, I thought that this was a clunky, slightly inelegant explanation as to why I’d chosen the name that I did, to represent the letters CFS, and hence, the illness from which I have now recovered.
As of yesterday however, my name has been officially changed to just ‘Conquering Fear Spiritually’. But why did I change my Facebook name?
For a while now, I’ve been slightly confused as to the direction I wanted my blog to go in. I even wondered at one stage whether I should even do it at all. I felt that my energy was mixed and jumping all over the place, because although Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was once a part of my life and the lessons around it always will be, I felt that I needed to disengage from it slightly, so I can move forward in my own life.
This might all sound slightly selfish, but here’s the thing:
I’m not going to stop blogging about CFS and all its quirks and foibles, but I want to be of service to you both during and after your illness. I still had lots of pieces to pick up after I got better, and even now I’m still floating around on my shadow-side a little bit. But here’s the thing, I want you to rediscover your natural energy and enthusiasm for life again, not just during this time when you’re ill or not feeling quite right. Hands up, it’s not going to be easy- you’re going to have to dredge through the dark and not-no-sparky parts of yourself, but it’s a beautiful, lifelong journey, and I want to help you through it.
Even as I’m typing this, I’m worried that some of you might stop reading the blog. I’m worried that you think I’ve brought you here under false pretences, but unfortunately, this has to be the risk I’m willing to take. I’ve wanted to write this for months now, and suddenly, the time feels right.
I have to be true to myself, so I can be of true service to you. I can’t blog from a place where the energy feels fake and false- it’s not great for you or me. I want to help you as much as I can, and therefore, I need to tweak my approach slightly.
What does this mean for the future of the blog? In all honesty, not a lot really, but there’ll be more spontaneous posts, more recipes, more self-love shenanigans, all the stuff that I really wish someone has shown me when I was recovering. There’ll also be a big community surge going on, so watch out for that. There will still be posts and articles geared towards CFS, but there will be a more holistic, overall healing energy presence in the blog. She’ll be more well-rounded and ready to serve.
I want to take this opportunity to express my whole and complete gratitude for the support you’ve given my blog so far, for all the emails I receive and for the participation and ‘hell yeahs’ you give me on a daily basis, even when you’re feeling crap and sh*tty. I will try and support you in the future as gracefully and fully as I can.
Thank you for reading and understanding. Sending lots of love and light to all of you wherever you are and however you are.
Love, Katie xxx