Dear Rebecca Campbell…
A few weeks ago, you were so kind and generous, and sent me a copy of your gorgeous new book, ‘Light is the New Black’.
I secretly hoped that you’d have written something inside the cover of the book and indeed you had:
I read on with so much enthusiasm, as I’ve been following your work for so long now, but I stopped reading half way through.
I put it down to being distracted and saying that I had other things to do besides reading, but I realised that your book triggered something in me.
A few weeks ago, as I contemplated and am now faced with the very present task of launching my own book, your words made me realise something.
I’m terrified of my own light.
That’s why I stopped reading your book. I was intimidated by how brightly your light shone in your words and message, and I didn’t think I could emanate what you were doing, not in my life, and not in my own writing.
This realisation made me feel ashamed, because I’ve intuited enough to know that what is in you must also be in me. I had met my true reality and being head on, and I didn’t recognise it. So, I chose to quickly shun it and run the other way.
We are often terrified of our own power. Once we see it building up, or see it reflected back to us in what others say or do for us, we don’t believe we’re worthy of being seen in that way. We can only be praised like that if we look this way, have this or are doing this.
This was the moment when I realised that I’d lived a lot of my life looking externally- what students thought of me, what my followers thought of me, what my family and friends thought of me. I’d even based life decisions on these very self-created parameters.
This is no way to live.
If we live like this, we can never truly be free.
Disregarding and ignoring our own light is not what we are put here for. If we can’t acknowledge and appreciate our own light, then we can’t truly be happy for others. We can’t cheer on from the sidelines, as we’ll always be convinced of our own darkness rather than our own light.
I think I’ve been blinded by my own light on many occasions, and this has scared and startled me to go scurrying back into the safety of my cave.
So, my darling, dear Rebecca Campbell, I choose light. I choose to live in that space and expanse that you could see in me from afar even though you don’t know me; that space that I’ve been told I bring with me, that I can feel glowing all around me and that I sink into so vividly when I close my eyes.
I choose to follow the light.
I choose me.
Love, Katie xxx
P.S. I finished your book- it’s a pure beam of radiance. Thank you, beautiful.