I’ve been incredibly guilty in the past of apologising for being interested in alternative therapies and things that are a little bit ‘woo woo’. I asked you all on Facebook one night if you felt the same as I did (a little bit frightened to admit this to people) and the reaction was mixed- some felt that they had to hide their interest from others, while others were fully accepting of their interests and were completely rocking it.
A recurring theme has been popping up in my life recently, and that’s of not being true to my real interests and passions. As many of you know I’m a languages teacher during the day, but I’m always so excited to head back home, so I can dive into little passion projects and connect with you lovely souls. I’ve commented to my husband a few times that I feel as though I’m leading a double-life. No-one at school even knows I have a blog, because I’m too scared to tell them; scared of what they might think of me, scared of even admitting my passions to myself. The ironic thing is that I work with the most amazing set of people,and I’m so lucky, but I still find it difficult unveiling this to people. I’m pretty sure that if I told them they’d think it was really cool, but something’s holding me back.
The End of Woo Woo
For a long time now, I’ve been incredibly interested in angels, and using tarot and oracle cards for guidance. I went to buy my first deck about a year ago, and came away from the shop with empty hands on about 3 occasions. I just couldn’t admit to myself that I thought there was something in it. I was terrified of what others would say about me, even though I knew people probably wouldn’t see the cards anyway! My next little baby step was buying one of Doreen Virtue‘s books, ‘The Lightworkers’ Way’ (highly recommended!) and I knew after that I couldn’t ignore this new interest of mine.
Moving to Australia and observing how much people respect and use tarot in their daily lives has really helped me. In the UK, especially in my tiny village, I can’t say I ever heard anybody speak about oracle or tarot cards, so I knew that breaking through the ‘fear barrier’ was going to be a huge obstacle for me.
After taking the plunge and buying the deck of oracle cards I’d been after for so long, I realised just how much I’d been missing. I just loved working with them and felt as though my intuition was strongly heightened whenever I worked with them. One of my colleagues at work told me that he’d been reading tarot from a young age, and asked if I’d like a reading. Oracle cards were one thing, but tarot cards? Weren’t they full of bad news and telling me how terrible my future was going to be? Being brought up in a Catholic family, my gremlins were telling me that I should feel guilty for even thinking about this, but I couldn’t ignore my feelings. I had a long hard think about it and eventually went for the reading, but only after so many of my other colleagues did the same.
About an hour after my reading (yep, one whole hour!), I went and bought my first tarot deck, the Angel Tarot Cards. I knew immediately that this was a huge step for me. I could feel the beautiful, vibrant energy emanating from the cards. It was at about this time that I decided to start giving random oracle cards readings on the Facebook page. I genuinely couldn’t believe how well received they were- there were plenty of others like me! Yey! What had I been worrying about?!
More to learn…
Even though I’d been giving readings for around a year, I knew that there was more to learn. I’d been resisting learning more about it because that meant ‘getting serious’. That meant finally (after all this time) admitting to myself that this was something I truly enjoyed and that mattered to me. Books and more card decks would reveal themselves to me and I quietly ignored all the signs for a long time, until I couldn’t ignore the urge to give intuitive readings any longer…
I was absolutely overwhelmed by the response, and will continue to give random readings via the newsletter for the foreseeable future. The feedback I’ve had after the readings has been beautiful, often spooky at times(!) and I’m so glad that I didn’t give up once and for all just before I bought my first oracle card deck. I would’ve been depriving myself of so much fun, joy and fantastic insights. After buying this book last week, I’m even more firmly rooted into the world of tarot and this book has since become a permanent fixture on my bedside table.
Certified Angel Card Reader Course
I’m also over-the-moon to tell you that, thanks to some encouragement from this lovely lady, I’m currently doing Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine’s brand new, online Certified Angel Card Reader Course! Again, I’d been ignoring my intuition for months over this, convincing myself that I had no time and I probably wouldn’t learn much anyway. The self-sabotage didn’t persist for long however, and I’m currently enjoying week 2 of the course
The course truly feels like home.
As part of the course, I’m excited to be learning so many new things. Even though I’ve been giving readings on health, family, career and relationships for a while, this course has really helped to strength my intuition. Look out for more opportunities via the newsletter to have free readings with me (with the amazing decks above that came as part of the course!). Thank you to all my past and future ‘guinea pigs’- you’re all stars!
Why the Shame?
If you enjoy something and it makes you whole, you MUST follow that feeling. Denying it to yourself and ignoring it is the worst thing you can do, especially if you have CFS or another illness. Following your joy will bring you to that place where you can heal more quickly and more readily.
As for the opinions of others, if it makes you feel happy and alive, surely that’s all they’ll care about. If it makes you feel well and sound in your body and mind, that’s an incredible place to start. Focusing on the opinions of others will automatically trigger fear in your mind and body, and stops you from tapping into that gorgeous, luminous feeling that we call crave when we’re healing. In short, it’s not worth the fear.
Even though I’m still working on telling my colleagues about my ‘other life’, my anxiety towards the situation has calmed slightly. I’ve learned that people will only accuse me of being really ‘woo woo’ if I believe it to be ‘woo woo’ myself. If I’m giving out that energy, it’ll come right back at me. Own that energy and follow your curiosity. You never know where it might lead you.
Love and angel blessings,