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Apr 222015
 

{A LITTLE NOTE ON JUDGEMENT}

I found myself judging a lot of people on Friday.

The girl on the bus with the crazy short skirt. The woman I saw walking home with the gorgeous earrings and the Gucci handbag. The man asking for money outside the supermarket to help him go travelling.

I’d had a very stressful week with exam papers to mark and my mind just went into overdrive. Judging others zapped even more energy out of me and just made me feel emotionally weak and like a truly terrible person. I had no idea who these people were or any knowledge of their stories. For all I know, they were probably judging me at the same time.

I don’t just mean judging others for their negative sides either. We often forget about the times when we’re incredibly jealous of someone because maybe they seem to have or feel something that we want. We can be lightening quick in our judgements on those occasions. It can be anything from a new watch, to glowing skin, self-confidence, more money or perfect health. I found this especially difficult when I was ill (comparing myself to friends my age), but it was almost refreshing (ironically) to realise that this never really goes away, even after being sick for so long.

It all comes down to acceptance and self-compassion and this, my friends, is harnessed and practised in illness, but becomes a faithful companion for life.

be kindImage taken from here

{The real reason behind judging others?}

I’d been really, REALLY hard on myself all week and hadn’t let up on myself. I hadn’t given myself any time to rest and reflect properly the way I normally would.

If you find yourself judging others, just take a step back and ask yourself if this criticism is actually you judging YOURSELF to the same degree. Are you using judging others as a why to hide your own imperfections, or as a way of escaping from the reality of your day-to-day life?

Judgement is always two-fold. You can only be truly kind to others when you’re kind to yourself. You can only truly be kind to yourself when you value yourself.

Bring it back to you. Forgive. Be gracious. Bring in love.

Love, Katie  xxx

Click here for a gorgeous little video on judgement and the power of words.

  4 Responses to “How to Deal with Judging Others”

  1. I am going to sound like a real ass probably, but I think it’s just human nature to judge others. I totally agree with you that it can be sometimes reflected back to how we are feeling about ourselves. If I’m in a great mood I am much less likely to criticize in my mind the people I notice. A bad mood and I can’t stand humans at all…haha! But there are also times when it’s just an observation that goes against my personal grain. I also think it’s ok to sometimes judge. Really, I’m a very nice person and try my best to be kind and loving to everyone, but sometimes…I just can’t.
    As far as being jealous of people when you’re sick…that’s an easy trap to fall into too. But then I remind myself that they may be suffering from something too that isn’t visible to the eye so I can usually get over that in a hurry. But, when all is said and done, we are just human after all and I think sometimes we try too hard to be “good” and that is not loving to ourselves either. Does that make sense?

  2. I agree with you Sheila, in that’s human, it just goes out of our minds, but I also agree that it’s kind of glass of ourselves, we fix our attention to the important things for us. You know, if you are in love with a black boy, you’ll see lots of mixed couples…
    So I think that criticism and envy are a clue to find into ourselves whta is missing inside, or our own insecurities, or the things we don’t dare to do, mainly: being ourselves in spite of how it may sound to our people or society… She wears that too short skirt = she is daring to go out the way she just wants to, and this reminds me I don’t dare to behave this way or wear such cloth in order not to be looked at, criticised, creating any conflict, thinking I must give an explanation for that…
    Whe I criticise people, I find I’m paying attention to others and going out of myself, it’s not just a question of being good, but of taking your efforts to others instead of you, and giving you security you are right in your bubble. I don’t know…

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