Pin It
Aug 182014
 

 

I woke up this morning in a bit of a rubbish mood, well….not exactly rubbish, but definitely not in the state of mind that I usually would. I felt a bit fed up, cold and like I hadn’t slept properly. Now, after meditating and moving around, a feel like I’m getting back to my old self again, but I might get a few ‘meh’ moments during the day.

I currently reading The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living, by Russ Harris, not because I’m particularly unhappy at the moment, but because I’ve heard lots of people talk about it and I felt like I had to see what all the fuss was about. I haven’t even finished the book yet, but felt inspired to write to you all after reading the first few sections. I thought this was going to be yet another happiness book, full of fluff and ‘get on with it’ stuff, but this book is really refreshing in its approach.

images

Image taken from here

I was a really grumpy teenager. I mean, I was never rude to anyone or shouting at people, but I was a hormonal, brooding teenager, as many of us were. I couldn’t figure out why the world had to work in a certain way and why it felt like everyone was against me. Obviously, with the power of hindsight and a few more years under my belt, I began to see this differently, as a natural transitional period, but I used to hate it when people told me to cheer up. Cheering up was not going to make me feel better- maybe for a few minutes, but it wasn’t going to be a permanent switch-flick.

Fast forward to now, and I’m one of those people who’s generally content and flowing through life with ease, but I do have bumps in the road and I need time away from people to be on my own. Sometimes, I’ll just feel like I’m getting in my own way a bit, over-thinking things and willing my mind to just shut down for a moment. There’s a bit of a struggle and then I’ll just ease into things.

We have a very unique view of happiness in our world. Everyone on magazine covers is smiling to within an inch of their lives and is stuck in this perfect, air-brushed happiness we all must be seen to be striving for. Happiness seems to be as easy as just buying the perfect dress or the perfect car, quitting your job and living on an island somewhere drinking water from fresh coconuts. But we all read about people who made this happen and were still frickin’ miserable when they got there. They still had the same problems and the same thinking patterns, so felt the same emotions.

Happiness is seen to be this illusive thing that one day we’ll grab, but in the mean time, we just have to get on with it. This, however, causes happiness to be more unattainable and we wind up constantly comparing ourselves to others and never stop to appreciate what we’ve got.

What if our concept of happiness is all wrong? What if we’ve already got it and the more we chase it, the more we push it away? Maybe we’re not designed to be skipping and jumping happy all of the time- we’re designed to tune in to our emotions, accept them and move through our days as best we can. This doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to pretend that everything’s ok and jump for joy, but we can just be ok with feeling a little bit ‘off’, accepting it and moving with it, not pushing it aside.

Maybe acceptance and gratitude are the new happinesses.

its-ok_130077151

Image taken from here

So, sometimes it’s ok to feel a bit off- I don’t know anyone who feels 100% chipper and dance-around positive the whole time. (To be honest, it’s exhausting, and pretending to be like this is even more exhausting, as you’re not being authentic to your true feelings). There is something to be said for putting a brave face on, in order to move through it and start to change some aspects of your mindset, but if today’s not the day, then tomorrow might be.

It’s ok to feel fed up.

It’s ok to feel not quite right.

It’s ok to have big dreams and to know that they’re yours, just not quite yet.

It’s ok to have the down bits, so the good bits can wash in more glorious than ever before.

It’s ok to have to put a little bit of work in to move to where you want to be.

It’s ok to feel a bit grumpy and let others know that that’s how you’re feeling today.

It’s ok to show your not-so-shiny, vulnerable, ‘down’ side

It’s ok to give yourself a flippin’ break every once in a while and not feel like you have to be Mary Poppins all the time.

It’s ok to feel your emotions, rather than push them away.

It’s ok to just be.

Love and being,

Katie        xxx

 

  12 Responses to “Why It’s OK to Feel Fed Up and Rubbish from Time to Time”

  1. Thank you Katie. Needed that this morning. Putting on a brave face is exhausting
    And once your feet are on the ground everyone thinks your ok! Not feeling sorry for myself
    But some days are just bloody hard! Always look forward to your insight

    • My pleasure, Janice- putting on a brave face constantly is absolutely exhausting, and it feels so fake sometimes! It’s not about feeling sorry for yourself, but just being ok with riding with your emotions.

      Thank you my darling! xxx

  2. I am learning this lesson over and over again (it takes awhile for some things to sink in, for me!). I feel very strongly that we do need to experience all emotions – we need the downs to appreciate the ups and it just wouldn’t be normal to be chipper at all times. Yet I still feel ashamed when I don’t have a positive answer to “how are you?”. I will get there though, and posts like this are helpful. Thank you.

    • Onebreath, I know exactly how you feel! There is an expectation that we have to say we’re ok even if we’re not. I’m not sure many people would know what to do if we suddenly said that we weren’t ok, but that’s the way our society works! Thank you for commenting- xx

  3. Katie, even though I don’t know you personally I would like you to know that you’re very important to me. Having your blog and your presence on facebook has helped me more than you could know :) if you ever need a stranger to talk to, I’m here xx

    – Nusret

    • Aww, thank you so much my lovely- I’m all choked up. That’s so kind of you- you know I’m always here for you as well. Bless you my lovely! xx

  4. The Happiness Trap is my favourite book on Acceptance and Commitment Therpy. I’ve also been to a professional training workshop with Russ. He is wonderful! I would recommend going to one if you can – he does professional workshops and workshops open to the public too.

    Acceptance is quite hard to do, but once we get their, it’s quite a relief!

    • Hey my lovely- thank you for your comment. You’re so lucky that you went to a workshop with him- will keep an eye out! I had no idea the book was even about ACT, but it’s definitely very interesting!

      Katie xxx

  5. Thanks for this…I feel like I’ve been given permission to not have to put on a happy face all the time and I needed that! I am so tired of even thinking about being “happy” because I’m going through some very hard things and I am not happy. But I feel like around others I have to act like it…a sad commentary on our society today. I would rather someone told me they were feeling lousy than pretend they aren’t and I think it helps all of us to know we aren’t the only ones feeling like crap that day, so they would actually be doing everyone a favor!

    • Exactly Sheila! I think once we can admit that we’re not doing so well, we give permission to others to do the same! xx

  6. Thank you for this article, thank you for your blog and for your FB page, and thank you for telling me about Russ Harris – I’ve got “The Reality Slap” and it’s excellent!

Leave a Reply