Fear is an emotion I have battled long and hard with. I truly believe that fear has held me back in many areas of my life over the years. I don’t regret these times, but the power of hindsight in an incredible thing. Fear is the subject of countless books and spiritual theories, and I still believe that it’s a topic too vast to distill into a few terms on a blog post. However, I’ll try my best.
In the interest of simplicity (my word for this year) and to save your eyes, I’ve written a few, short phrases about fear which are designed to act like mini-meditations or springboards. If any of these opinions on fear resonate with you, let it stick and chew on it for a while. If it doesn’t stick, let it pass right through you, but still let it vibrate quietly if it needs to.
Fear is the space between where we are and where we want to be. It’s uncertainty. We’re afraid because we don’t know what lies beyond, so of course we’re going to feel uncomfortable. There is huge gulf here- we will all develop in the future, and not always in ways we expect and/or want. Where will I be? What will my health be like? Will me family be ok? Will I be ok? Once the treadmill of fear starts turning, the emotion gets stronger and stronger and the ego starts running riot.
There are many emotions which hide under the fear ‘umbrella’ and they’re really flippin’ sneaky. Think you’re not frightened? Just try these on for size.
Because of the size of the fear umbrella, you’re never, ever truly going to be able to get rid of fear. I used to feel incredibly inspired by motivational quotes about beating fear,in its tracks and I appreciate the affect they’re designed to have on people, but in reality, it’s unrealistic. Fear will always be there in many disguises, so you might as well learn to dance with her. (Yep, mine’s a her).
Because of said motivational quotes, we’ve actually started to become frightened of the word ‘fear’, just the word! Has anyone ever reacted to the word ‘happy’ in the same instinctive way? Probably not.
The more you actually step into fear or ask her to dance, the more likely you are to feel comfortable in fearful, anxious, dark situations and in moments during your life when all you want to do is make everything rosy again. Sad, but true- it’s the yin and yang in everything, my darling. I’m not telling you to do all the things that frighten you in one weekend, but there is a lot of merit in leaping. You’re never usually frightened for the reasons you think you are anyway.
You will always get stronger and learn more about yourself from spending time focussing on where you feel fear, when you feel it, how it comes about and getting under the skin of why you’re feeling it. Once you start going into this process, the revelations come thick, fast and beautifully.
Like anger, fear is an emotion that sits in the body and comes brimming to the surface whenever it gets a chance. Cry, let it out, scream- just listen to it. Give her a chance.
Pushing fear to the side is fine. Just make sure it’s always beside or behind you, not in front of you. Don’t let her block your view on the world.
Love deserves your attention, but so does our shadow side. Don’t let her rule your life, but make her a wise companion.
Love, Katie xxx