When we’re feeling anxious about something, we become consumed by worry and fear, and so often, that fear drags us down until we can’t think about anything else. This might mean we write things off, feel bad for the rest of the day or feel as though we’re useless and unworthy.
However, when I recovered from CFS, I found that I had a few stories from being sick that I’d carried with me. None of these were helpful and, as much as our brain is trying to keep us safe (it’s helping us to survive, that’s its job), some of these thought patterns were just not helpful, and certainly not useful if I wanted to move forward in my life.
Image by Jakub Sejkora adapted from Unsplash
The Best Way To Overcome Fear
For me personally, this is the best way to overcome fear. You might find that other methods work well for you, but I wanted to share this with you to play around with the next time you’re feeling anxious or fearful that something might be too much for you, or you find yourself future-tripping about something on the horizon.
My Personal Tip
As soon as you feel anxious, before the fear has a chance to drag you down and before you feel the emotion, think of all the POSITIVE THINGS that you will feel or that will happen if you do decide to do what you want to do.
Example
You’re supposed to go to a dinner at the weekend, but there’s going to be a lot of people there (some you know, some you don’t). You really don’t feel like talking, and you haven’t been great in groups or with noise since your diagnosis.
Instead of automatically telling yourself how difficult, awful and stressful it’s going to be, reframe it. You might meet some new people; the food will be great, so you don’t have to think about cooking for once; it’s a great chance to get some fresh air and get out of the house.
Why It Works
Once you think about the good sides of the situation, the positives almost always outweighs the negatives.
Suddenly, instead of feeling anxious, stressed and sick, you’re feeling light, free and maybe even a little bit excited. You’ve also managed to stop that whirlwind of emotions that come with feeling fearful and anxious.
Just before you tell me that this is too simple (and I get it, I’ve second guessed this too!), I’d just love you to try it. Try it the next time that voice comes bubbling up, or you feel too fixated on a future event and you’re not sure why. Try it a few times, and I think you might just like the perspective it gives you.
Changes are that none of the negatives will happen anyway! Your mind is just trying to protect you (bless it!).
I’d love to know how you get on- let me know in the comments below!
Lots of love,
Katie xxx
Yes, I completely agree with this Katie… I’ve gone through taht anxiertcfeeling. I used to go dancing in a park with peolpe and hadn’t gone for more than a year because of my poor state and lack of energy. But tires of feeling so isolated and needing to he good moments and hoy with the people, I decided to go. I coild sleep befora and after im the car and im the grasa after we have lunch togerher. In some I was able not onlt to go and stay with people, but also to dance some slow dances and now I dare spme of the fast ines. Yes, the next day I need ro STOP, but it is only for one day, not for week or two, as I used to. I’n getting brave with little things thar make me fear and I’m glad for it. My fear now is not being well in then precise moment I need to find a way of living that don’t mean returning to the crazynes s, as always, Katie
A bigs hug for all
Love and thanks
This is so fantastic, my darling- good for you! Here’s to more dancing days! xx
Excellent post Katie! I too believe my cfs was caused by a lifetime of chronic fear beginning with a childhood traumatised by an alcoholic and violent father.l am learning to recognise my fearful thoughts and get professional help to deal with my anxiety and post traumatic stress.Thank you for sharing your story and helping cfs patients to rebuild their lives.God bless.
Thank you so much for your comment, Jules- it’s amazing how much fear can play a part in our lives. Mind Detox can work really well with anxiety.
Love, Katie xx