This weekend, I was incredibly unsettled and ungrounded. I put it down to the fact that I’d just had a very hectic week at school- lots of marking, lesson preparation and reports to write, but there was something different about the whole thing. On Saturday, we went to visit a few friends who have decided to move back to the UK after four years in Australia. Although I knew the time would come, it definitely felt that the end of an era.
I’ve become increasingly unsettled over the last few months, and I realised it’s because lots of things are changing. Not only did I have to say goodbye to my friends, but it was my gorgeous Grandmother’s Birthday- she would have been 90 on Saturday. I knew as soon as I got up that there was something I hadn’t acknowledged, and I realised later on that this was it. After passing away a few weeks ago, my Nana’s gorgeous presence contrasted with this incredible sense of loss travelled across the miles.
Since my husband and I got married in January (yes, I know- I kept that one quiet!), our lives and the lives of other people have seen a definite change. These changes are not necessarily for the worst, but because they are so drastic and momentous, it often feels that way. Friends that we never thought would get married walked down the aisle, several close friends have had babies, many people that we established friendships with in Australia have moved back to the UK permanently, my husband got a new job and we became Permanent Residents of Australia.
Over the last few months, I’ve felt powerful, but also awe-inspired at the changes that can occur in such a short space of time. I also noticed, however, how much I was clutching on to what was. I have huge perfectionist tendencies (a huge work-in-progress) and it can be unsettling to step back and see these shifts. Even when these changes were welcome and happy, they still felt monumental, but it’s how I chose to frame them that I struggled with.
We can choose how we see change, but in all honesty, we must know that we can stop change. We cannot pull it back towards us in the hope that everything stays exactly as it always was. We need to have the grace and courage to welcome change, however it might look and however we feel about it.
The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. – Alan Watts
Here are 5 ways to deal with change if you find yourself in a similar boat to me:
1) Acknowledge that Change is Happening
You can push it away and ignore it as much as you like, but there is great strength in knowing that the world and the universe will still function and spin around us, whether we like it or not. We are, however, always invited to “Join the dance”.
2) Be grateful for the Gifts that you have Received
Whether this is in a person who is no longer part of your life or in a new life situation, take a moment to think about how they made you feel and what you learned from having them in your life, whether it be good or bad.
No experience is wasted.
3) Look for the Positives
Change your outlook and view the situation from the point of view of the other people involved in that situation. For example, I feel sad that we won’t see our friends heading back to the UK for a little while, but I also know that they will grow stronger and more settled as a family because of it.
Take the ego out of it. It’s not always about you.
4) Listen to you Body and Stay in the Flow
Letting go is a constant practice for me and feel as though the messages my body sends me together with my life experiences all point to this one lesson. How does your body feel when you are resisting change? Where exactly can you feel it? Are there any thoughts which you have as a result?
Tuning in to these subtle message requires and care and attention- often our body speaks to us before our consciousness does, but this can be an incredibly useful tool when you know that something just isn’t right. Trust your body and your intuition- they never lie.
5) Find Ways to Actively Stay Grounded
Yoga, deep breathing, meditation, wholesome food, sharing a cup of tea with your best friend…find something that keeps you grounded and use it as a haven during these difficult times. There is great strength in community and knowing that you are not alone.
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. – Lao Tzu
Let me know in the comment below- are you navigating change at the moment? How are you staying grounding and helping yourself through these changes?
Love and finding the flow,