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Dec 232014
 

 

This weekend, I was incredibly unsettled and ungrounded. I put it down to the fact that I’d just had a very hectic week at school- lots of marking, lesson preparation and reports to write, but there was something different about the whole thing. On Saturday, we went to visit a few friends who have decided to move back to the UK after four years in Australia. Although I knew the time would come, it definitely felt that the end of an era.

I’ve become increasingly unsettled over the last few months, and I realised it’s because lots of things are changing. Not only did I have to say goodbye to my friends, but it was my gorgeous Grandmother’s Birthday- she would have been 90 on Saturday. I knew as soon as I got up that there was something I hadn’t acknowledged, and I realised later on that this was it. After passing away a few weeks ago, my Nana’s gorgeous presence contrasted with this incredible sense of loss travelled across the miles.

Nana

Since my husband and I got married in January (yes, I know- I kept that one quiet!), our lives and the lives of other people have seen a definite change. These changes are not necessarily for the worst, but because they are so drastic and momentous, it often feels that way. Friends that we never thought would get married walked down the aisle, several close friends have had babies, many people that we established friendships with in Australia have moved back to the UK permanently, my husband got a new job and we became Permanent Residents of Australia.

Over the last few months, I’ve felt powerful, but also awe-inspired at the changes that can occur in such a short space of time. I also noticed, however, how much I was clutching on to what was. I have huge perfectionist tendencies (a huge work-in-progress) and it can be unsettling to step back and see these shifts. Even when these changes were welcome and happy, they still felt monumental, but it’s how I chose to frame them that I struggled with.

We can choose how we see change, but in all honesty, we must know that we can stop change. We cannot pull it back towards us in the hope that everything stays exactly as it always was. We need to have the grace and courage to welcome change, however it might look and however we feel about it.

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. – Alan Watts

Here are 5 ways to deal with change if you find yourself in a similar boat to me:

1) Acknowledge that Change is Happening

You can push it away and ignore it as much as you like, but there is great strength in knowing that the world and the universe will still function and spin around us, whether we like it or not. We are, however, always invited to “Join the dance”.

2) Be grateful for the Gifts that you have Received

Whether this is in a person who is no longer part of your life or in a new life situation, take a moment to think about how they made you feel and what you learned from having them in your life, whether it be good or bad.

No experience is wasted.

3) Look for the Positives

Change your outlook and view the situation from the point of view of the other people involved in that situation. For example, I feel sad that we won’t see our friends heading back to the UK for a little while, but I also know that they will grow stronger and more settled as a family because of it.

Take the ego out of it. It’s not always about you.

4) Listen to you Body and Stay in the Flow

Letting go is a constant practice for me and feel as though the messages my body sends me together with my life experiences all point to this one lesson. How does your body feel when you are resisting change? Where exactly can you feel it? Are there any thoughts which you have as a result?

Tuning in to these subtle message requires and care and attention- often our body speaks to us before our consciousness does, but this can be an incredibly useful tool when you know that something just isn’t right. Trust your body and your intuition- they never lie.

5) Find Ways to Actively Stay Grounded

Yoga, deep breathing, meditation, wholesome food, sharing a cup of tea with your best friend…find something that keeps you grounded and use it as a haven during these difficult times. There is great strength in community and knowing that you are not alone.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. – Lao Tzu

Let me know in the comment below- are you navigating change at the moment? How are you staying grounding and helping yourself through these changes?

Love and finding the flow,

Katie     xxx

  4 Responses to “5 Ways to Deal with Change”

  1. Thanks for sharing Katie, and congratulations on your wedding earlier this year!:)
    I can relate to this article and too feel that there has been so much change since the start of the year. From the 1st of January, I had some quite challenging things to deal with, and it has just felt like one thing after the other, not just for me, but also for those around me. If you believe in Chinese astrology, it is the year of the horse, which is meant to be a super quick year with lots going on. It has definitely felt like that for me! I have had moments of overwhelm and panic at all the change but have somehow managed to hold on to the faith that it is how it is meant to be and everything is unfolding as it should. But I have also had to work quite hard at reminding myself to do things like ground myself, listen to my body and stay positive. So thank you for reinforcing this:) And for sharing – it reminds me that I’m not alone! xx

    • Thank you so much for sharing lovely Nicola. I had no idea it was the Year of the Horse- that would fit quite well!

      Lots of love my darling- we’ll get through this! xx

  2. hi. I have just come across your page by a pic on facebook. AMAZING :-) I have suffered with ME since the age of 9 (now 27) and have never really had much outside help (apart from constant family support) I have “stupidly” pushed myself to the limits with numerous jobs at once just because I felt like why shouldn’t I be able to do what other people do. the whole “I just want to feel normal” thing. which I now realise there is no such thing as normal, but it would stil be nice to feel “well” without pretending to other people to an extent. I have recently had a bad couple of months almost relapsing which scared me as I don’t want to go back to feeling as bad as I used to. but still I am stupid in sometimes not listening to my body and intuition and end up continuing with the daily stress of work and life. it takes a lot of mind work and energy but I managed to get myself out of going in to seclusion from life, just, by doing all of the 5 points u made. reading your pages has made me realise that I really need to look after myself and stop feeling guilty about having a day off work, it will still be there when I get back if I have a few days off. I am looking forward to my first day off tomorrow after a constant 12 days of work and have booked myself in for my first back and neck massage! I made a whole list of things to do/jobs to catch up on, on my day off, but I think I may just bin it and rest! we all deserve a rest. thank you x

    • Hi Bev- it’s so lovely to have to here, welcome! I think you summed it up when you said, “We all deserve a rest”- we really do. We can often believe that we don’t deserve a rest because we seem to rest a lot of the time, but everyone sleeps.

      I also wrote an article on work and jobs here, but there’ll be a few more to come.

      Thank you Bev- lots of love- xx

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