Pin It
Feb 042015


It’s all too easy to think that because we’ve been ill for a while that we know pain and suffering more than the ‘average’ person.

We have to remember not to feed our pain to our egos. People go through terrible things every day and none of them necessarily involve chronic illness.

cfs painPhoto by S. Charles taken from Unsplash

Comparing your pain to other people’s is a bit of a trap, which will probably chew you up and spit you out. We all feel the need to share our stories (they help us contextualise things and stay sane), but don’t feel more entitled to your pain and how terrible your story is just because you’ve been in a situation for a little way.

Don’t be the victim in your own story.

Pain is pain.

We feel it on different levels and one type of pain does not necessarily cancel out another type. Your pain is neither better nor worse than mine. It’s different because, individually, we are different people. My pain is not your pain, and your pain isn’t mine. People with CFS might experience pain and hardship, but we can’t truly compare our situations. It doesn’t really serve us anyway, except in reaching out in that gorgeous “You’re not alone” kind of way.

This illness is not yours to keep, just as the pain isn’t yours to keep either. Contextualising and quantifying it will only bring it closer to you in the long run, making it difficult to detach from. The pain then becomes firther ingrained in your story and seeps into every aspect of your life

Your pain and the situation you’re in are neither better nor worse than anyone else’s. Experience is individual.

Love and freedom,

Katie        xxx

Click here for a few ways to relieve muscle pain in CFS and Fibromyalgia.

  6 Responses to “Pain and Ego in CFS”

  1. I am constantly reminding myself that other people have worse problems than I do, but to be honest, this just makes me feel worse. It makes me feel weaker and more ashamed of myself sometimes. If those people can live with what they have to deal with, than why can’t I do better. And I’m also guilty of seeing others who don’t seem to have serious problems as luckier than I am. Terrible, I know! But I can say that I have become much better at realizing exactly what you are pointing out in this article. We all have pain of some kind or another and it’s not fair to compare or judge whose is worse or better. Your posts always hit an important point…thanks Katie for your wise words.

    • I think we tend to do this even without pain! It’s a definite learning curve and we’re only human.

      Thanks my love, xxx

  2. This post has been timely, Katie! I’m realising that I’ve been keeping myself ill by catastrophising, and trying to protect myself – it’s the old question of balance: we have to test our limits but to a degree, and it’s so easy to overdo it and relapse. But if you’re out of contact with your body, it happens before you realise. Counting or noticing blessings is so helpful, and now I’ve discovered lymphasising exercise – bouncing on my heels and shaking my muscles out – which feels silly and funny, and lightens me up! (doing the hand jive to music is good, too…)

    … and I just found a new Nakd bar – ‘Christmas Pud’! I shall toast you with one today, Katie! Love and hugs

    • Awww, I miss Nakd bars- they’re so good! Enjoy Annys!

      “Testing our limits, but to a certain degree”- that’s exactly it! xxx

  3. Slight amount of side-lining here – I should think you could make the bar – dates, cashews and raisins ground up with Christmas spices – yum!

Leave a Reply