Why I’ve Been Away From The Blog

Jun 142016

I couldn’t believe it when I looked at my other posts and realised that the last thing I put up was this little video in February. It feels incredibly strange being back here and sharing why I’ve been away from the blog with you all, but I’ve slowly been inching my way back onto Facebook after an unexpected hiatus.

I’m sorry I’ve been away so long- I’ve really missed checking in with you all to see how you’re doing, but every time I went to post something on social media, I just couldn’t do it. I’ve haven’t been ill or anything to cause concern, but I think I’ve been going through a phase of immense (but positive) change that my mind has been struggling to comprehend. Maybe I’d just written too many posts and was creatively spent, or maybe we can blame it on the stars. But I think I’m right in saying that I’m not the only one who’s been feeling the need to hibernate since the beginning of the year. Nearly all of our friends have been doing exactly the same, and those tentative ‘we really need to meet up some time’ plans have just been put on the back burner for everyone.

What really started everything…

Some of you might remember that, after two years of marriage, I decided to changed my surname to my married name, and am now very proudly, Katie MacDonald. It was after this and receiving our Australian citizenship in January that everything started to change.

I was still teaching, but something started to feel different. You tend to go through cycles in life and these are often reflected back to you in the people around you. Lots of people felt unsure about where they were going (me included.) Out of the blue, I got an email from someone asking me if I would be willing to tutor an Australian family who were moving to London, a job that I did in London for a year which tied in exceptionally nicely with recovering from CFS. For some reason, even though it was miles away, I felt the impulse to say ‘yes’, so I did and found I really enjoyed it. After that, another similar offer came in, so I said ‘why not?’, and before I knew it, my days were jam-packed- teaching during the day and tutoring 5 evenings a week and Saturday mornings. After keeping this going for about a month, my husband told me that maybe it was time to leave my day job, and I knew he was right. One of the reasons I couldn’t give the blog as much attention is because I physically didn’t have the time, and sleep and looking after myself always come first these days (lesson learnt!).

Image by Justin Luebke for Unsplash

Positive change isn’t always easy…

So, it was with an incredibly heavy heart that I left school, even though I knew it was the right thing to do, even though I love my colleagues and even though I had the kindest and most enthusiastic class I’ve ever taught (seriously, these guys made getting up in the morning an absolute pleasure). Sometimes making a positive change isn’t always easy, and to be honest, for the past few weeks, I’ve felt a little empty. It would be very easy right now to jump back into what I was doing before, but I knew I was being called to something else. I’ve spent hours wondering if I’ve done the right thing, but as I mentioned on Facebook last night, progress is progress and I have to keep moving forward even though some days, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.

The difference between when I was tutoring last time and now is that I have a lot more time and space in the morning free to enjoy life, which is phenomenal (and also a little unsettling!). I used to have to spend it sleeping as much as I could before pushing myself onto the Underground in London, just trying to hold it together before I could head home, but now it’s different. I also came to the great realisation that I could come back to the blog and hopefully my writing could continue to be of service to someone out there. If I’m really honest, I was thinking of completely stepping away from the blog and leaving it entirely, but this all changed a few weeks ago.

I have no plans for the blog at the moment, but after the first half of this year, I’m willing to be surprised!

I’m so pleased to be back here with you, and open to any suggestions you might have for posts or projects. Let me know in the comments below, and tell me how you’ve been!

Lots of love, Katie xxx

How to Deal With People Thinking You’re Lazy When You Have CFS

Oct 262015

I’ve received lots of emails about this recently and it’s a recurring theme of conversation with my coaching clients, and so I just thought I’d put my thoughts into a post.

Along with all of these lovely choice phrases, “Why are you so lazy?” or words to that effect, might have been aimed at your recently or during your illness. This hurts…I mean, really, really stings.

Up until about x-days/weeks/months/years ago, you had it all figured out. You had a job/income, you had some form of social life, you were frequently in touch with your family and friends, you could string a sentence together and things were generally pretty good. But now you can’t move- you can’t remember the last time you opened the curtains (never mind went outside), you feel incredibly guilty for not bringing in a salary and you feel as if your friends can’t be bothered with you any more. Now, to top it all off, you’ve got people thinking you’re lazy when you have CFS!

im_not_lazy_im_sick_shirt-p235055099763546669ci54_325

Photo taken from here

Ooooh yep, I hear ya! I’ve had this and all you want to do is scream and shout, and let them know what’s really going on. You’ve told them over and over, but they still don’t get it. Luckily, there are some things you can do to make everything a little bit smoother for yourself and others.

+ Show them this article. If they still haven’t changed their tune, show them this one or this one. If you still don’t get a flinch out of them after this, ask yourself some serious questions.

+ Know that if you were going to invent an illness, CFS/ME would be it. It’s almost like a crazy junior school Biology project:

Teacher: “Ok, everyone- settle down. Now what I want you to do is work in groups and invent an illness. You must describe it and then present it in front of the class. You have 10 minutes- off you go!”

Student 1: “I know! How about something where you sleep for, like, 22 hours a day- like Sleeping Beauty!!”

Student 2: “Yeah, and you can’t go to work because you’re too busy sleeping and lying in bed and people have to feed you and stuff?!”

Everyone in group: “Yeah, that sounds amazing!!”

See the humour in it- it might just get you through those “I really want to break your arm right now (if I had the energy)” kind of moments.

+ The dictionary definition of ‘lazy’ is: “averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.” I have never, EVER met anyone with CFS/ME who is lazy. Most of the people I’ve spoken to are Type A Personality people and we do not do lazy. Perfectionist, yes. Lazy? Nooooo. People relapse with CFS precisely because they are not lazy- that’s half our trouble. We want to contribute to the world, to our lives, and so we push on and then make ourselves worse. Don’t you dare talk to me about laziness….! (Sorry, rant over!)

+ Understand at a cellular level that there is absolutely no way they can understand what you’re going through. No way. People can empathise, but they’ll only know it if they’ve been through it themselves. This might make you feel lonely or disconnected from everyone for a while, but it’s only temporary. Know that they just want to see you better, healthy and happy- ask for their help, even though they don’t understand this craziness. You look fine, so of course, they’re a bit confused (I remember wishing I could’ve broken my arm or something instead of having CFS- at least people can physically see there’s something wrong with you, right?)

+ You are still you. You are still you. You as a person and a beautiful soul have not changed. Your body is just taking some time out, because it needs it. Once you know who you are, and really know it and own it, those lazy comments will bounce right off you.

Smile, suck it up for a bit longer and know ultimately that these comments will stop. People will see how sick you are, not lazy, and will want to help in any way they can. Show them this website, point them to my Facebook page and show people that you’re not the only one going through this ‘laziness epidemic’.

I’d love to hear your comments below- have you ever been accused of being lazy?

Love, not laziness,

Katie xxx

Introducing the CFS Collective- a Chronic Illness Community

Jul 282015

The CFS Collective is now live! Click here to be take to the main page.

The number one complaint I get from those with Chronic Illness?

Nobody understands what it’s like. Nobody gets it.

I know exactly what it’s like to spend hours and hours on your own, feeling totally lost and not knowing exactly when it’s all going to end. My recent experience with a nasty hip injury has really brought this terrible feeling of isolation back to be with a thump.

(Click here to read one of my articles on loneliness).

Well, I think it’s time to try and help anyone out there who’s been feeling lie this. My heart goes out to you, and I really needed to take action in some way.

Introducing…

CFS Collective launch

What is the CFS Collective?

The CFS Collective is a way of enabling those with Chronic Illness or with an interest in the Chronic Illness Community to come together and share stories and support.

You can communicate with your partner as little or as often as possible, but it’s all about knowing that someone else gets it and you can support each other in whatever way you like- sharing stories, quotes, friendship and wellness tips.

How does it work?

After processing your application, you will be taken to Google form in which you will fill in some information about you and in what you’re looking for in a partner or Collective friend.

I will then try and pair you up with another member of the community as soon as I am able and as soon as there is a suitable match for you.

You will be matched based on your interests and preferences in a partner.

Is it like a Chronic Illness Forum?

No, this is not a chronic illness forum- it’s unlike any other chronic illness community. You will simply be communicating with another member of our community via email initially. You are then free to share other contact details afterwards if you would like to.

chronic illness community

What if I don’t get on with my partner?

I completely understand- we’re all different! If this is the case, you can just contact me and I’ll try and pair you up with another member of our community asap. Please understand that I can only match you up a certain number of times if friendships are unsuccessful.

Will there be a charge?

Yes, there will be a charge for all the administration involved in processing applications and matching you up with other members. This is a one-time only fee, and you won’t have to pay again for the duration of your participation in the programme. As you can understand, we are a group increasing into the thousands- that’s a lot of admin!

What are the advantages of the CFS Collective?

Support in your ongoing wellness journey, keeping the vibes and support high, and sharing stories with a like-minded person who knows what you’re going through and what you’d like to achieve in life.

In a nutshell, it’s beautiful, shiny, warm and worth its weight in gold.

This video might also help a little to explain how it works:

I’m interested- what’s next?

The program is now live! Click the button below to be taken to the information page.

I’d love for you to comment below my daring if you’re interested in this project- I think this could be the start of something big!

Sending you so much love- thank you for your love and support,

Katie xxx

(P.S. You are not alone.)

(P.P.S – because we all love another P.S! Please share this with any of your friends and relatives who would benefit from it- it might just make their day.)

Guilt and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome : VIDEO

Jul 152015

It’s been a while since I’ve put a vlog together for you all, so I thought I’d talk about a topic which a lot of you seem to mention at the moment, which is…… guilt. Guilt and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome from my experience go hand-in-hand.

I can see you all nodding your head already…well, take a look at the video my lovely. I hope there’s something in it that resonates with you. Make sure you do your homework!

If guilt is an issue for you, please take a look at these other posts:

I’d love to hear your comments below- how does your illness make your feel guilty? Did your homework bring up any issues for you? I’m ready for you all, with a big hug and mug of tea!

Love and zero guilt,

Katie xx

Why You Should Never ‘Own’ Your Illness

Feb 272015

For some reason recently, I found myself thinking about (and being absolutely baffled by! All of the times I went to the doctor while I was ill. For years, I completely pushed CFS away and ignored it- there had to be something simpler going on. Couldn’t they just put me on a week’s worth of antibiotics?! But I paid the price in the form of relapses and a prolonged recovery time.

Artwork taken from here

Even when I’m writing all of my blog posts, I constantly hit a wall when I get to how to write about illness- do I make it my own, or do I distance myself from it? It was once a huge part of who I am, but that doesn’t mean I’ve completely disregarded that part of my life, as it’s been my greatest teacher and mentor to date.

If writing this blog has taught me one thing I’d love you all to know though, it’s this:

Do not own your illness- as soon as you say ‘my illness’, the power has been given over to the CFS. You have the power and you’ve never lost it, not even in your darkest, most wavering, meandering moments. Detach it from yourself and it’ll detach from you- say ‘the illness’ and it suddenly doesn’t seem as scary. It becomes something you control as opposed to it controlling you. It means that when you feel the waves of the illness washing over you, you know for sure that it’s only a temporary visitor, a fleeting feeling, like the tide, like the clouds above us.

This is a short post, but one which I hope gives you lots of food for thought and something to meditate on. Do you own your illness or does it own you? Can you distance yourself from it, or are you imbedded in it? Let me know your thoughts below my lovelies.

Love and gentle separation,

Katie xxx

Would you like more inspiration to help you through CFS? Click here to sign up for my newsletter and you’ll get a copy of ‘The Little Book of CFS’ completely free! Woohoo! xx

Not Your Normal 2014 Round-Up

Dec 212014

I was going to write a round-up of 2014 detailing everything that had occurred personally and for the blog in 2014, but the events in Sydney before Christmas changed how I wanted to do this. This is not your normal 2014 round-up, but I wanted to publish it anyway.

For most people that I know, 2014 has been a hell of a year, in both good ways and not-so-good ways. Marriages, engagements, deaths, landmark Birthdays, injuries, divorces, separations, people shutting down shop, people moving countries, people quitting their jobs in pursuit of their dreams- it’s all been going on. I’m left wondering what’s left for the rest of December.

Horse necklace by redtruckdesigns on Etsy

Whether we’re celebrating, commiserating or a mixture of both, I feel that we can learn a lot from this year. Personally, listening to fear and deciding that it’s not out to get me has been the most important lesson of 2014. You might have seen lots of articles this year about choosing love over fear, and while I appreciate the sentiment, I think sometimes we have to listen to and appreciate fear to get to love.

Nowhere has then been more prevalent than in my own recovery story. If I hadn’t listened to and worked through the fear, I know I wouldn’t have made a full recovery. I wouldn’t have been able to welcome in and know that I was worthy of love. There’s no way therefore that I’d have been able to set up this blog or be talking to you now.

However you feel 2014 has been for you or however huge and glorious your dreams are for 2015, I invite you to appreciate and accept where you are right now- everything that you are feeling, striving for and fearful of. Fear is part of our human experience too. I’d love us all to step into 2015 with a sense of calm, receptivity, grounding and belonging- what could be better than starting a New Year with these feelings? No racing ahead, nothing to prove, nothing to shout about.

Meet yourself wherever you are.

Thank you so much for all your love and support this year my darling. I learn so much from you all with each passing day and I cannot wait to share the projects I’ve got lined up for 2015 with you soon. Wishing you all the love and presence in the world for the rest of December and beyond.

Lots of love and light,

Katie xxx

The CFS Help and Inspiration Roll

Sep 262014

Come back to this page when you’re lost, when you’re wondering what it’s all about. When you’re fed up to the back teeth and are struggling to find your ‘other way’. When you need to feel the comfort in words and feel your spirit bounce when you’ve found the right ones. When you need a little bit of CFS help…

You’ve probably seen that the world has gone a little bit crazy with these quotes, but I love to let myself be inspired, even swept away by them on a regular basis (See ‘Words to Live By’ board on Pinterest, if you don’t believe me!). Although it’s easy to get lost in a sea of these images, when you find a good quote, it really makes you stop and think.

It doesn’t matter if you have CFS or not- we all need this from time to time. Let’s bring in the light, bring in your spirit….

Love and a river of words,

Katie xx

and my favourite….

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If you enjoyed these inspirational quotes, there are plenty more in my (FREE!) e-book! Click the green book image at the top of the page or below for instant access!

At A Blogging Crossroads – Would Love Your Help!

Feb 182014

Well, it’s been a little while since I’ve written a post and I just wanted to explain a few reasons for this. I’ve been so grateful to receive a few more followers recently thanks to this article and I’d like to welcome them to my little site. Yey!

I suppose I’m also writing this post because I would absolutely love your help. Although I have taken little breaks away from the blog to live life away from the internet and for holidays, I’ve been procrastinating. Big time.

I’m at a bit of a blogging crossroads.

Image taken from here

Blog Anxiety

I think anyone with a blog can relate to this. I have a full-time job, teaching 5 days a week, and some days, I come home absolutely exhausted, not in a CFS way, but in a ‘phew, that was tough’ kind of way. Teaching is physically and emotionally demanding and takes a lot out of you. Although I love to write and look after the blog, sometimes it’s just not possible during the week. When I write, I want to give you my best, so even though I’d like to write a post, I feel as though it’s not coming from the best place. This might just be my perfectionist, type-A tendencies coming out and/or me making excuses for myself, but you deserve pure, clear-headed advice.

Also, and here’s the real reason behind writing this post…I’m not 100% sure what to do next. I feel as though I can be of real service to you all, but I’m actually paralysed with a sort of fear. What if I do this…? What if I don’t do this?

In truth, I’ve often thought of just letting the blog go completely.

Moving Forward

I would be so grateful if any of you had any words of wisdom, in fact any words at all, about how I could serve you better. I feel as though I’m at a bit of crossroads- my energy feels a bit muggy and disjointed, hence the reason my newsletters and updates haven’t been a regular as I would’ve liked, and for that I’m truly sorry. I’m playing the vulnerability card close to my chest, but I’m hoping you can help.

Thank you my darlings- I’d love to hear your comments below.

Love and thanks as always,

Katie xxx

Self Love and Illness: This Is It!

Jul 092013

Now, just before you laugh and snort at my use of the phrase ‘Self-Love’ in this post, I just want you to know that I too was one of the people who sniggered at it. What a weird, hippy, marshmallow-y concept, ey?! Self-Love?! Pphhh!

When I was in my element, singing and doing all thing musical, I was pretty in love with my life and even though I didn’t look perfect, my passion for music carried me through. My Self-Love cup was pretty darn full- full to overflowing even. I skipped out of bed, wondering what the day would bring and I loved life, I really did.

The problem came however, when I decided to turn my back on all of this and my intuition, and step into something I really didn’t feel comfortable with. It was so completely alien to me, it was hilarious. My soul just didn’t like it and I instinctively knew that further down the line, in some way shape or form, I’d regret it.

As you all know, the form it came to me in was CFS/M.E and if any of that Self-Love was left at all, it had completely left me by then. I felt hollow, alone, empty and completely worthless. The only thing I could do was lie in bed and read (this was many months into my illness, reading was impossible for me for a very long time!). I stumbled across many authors that you know- Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson and Caroline Myss, and my world changed forever.

self love

Image taken from Path to Wellness by beautiful Melissa Ambrosini

Suddenly, I realised that just because I was ill, it didn’t mean that I was any less worthy than anyone else. It didn’t mean I was half a person or trailing behind in the shadows. I realised that I was unique, individually created and brought here by the universe for some special purpose. I had no idea what that was, but just this knowing made me realise how special and amazing all of us are, without exception. The only way you can realise this is by working your Self-Love muscle, which can become weak during illness.

Now, don’t get me wrong- it’s far from easy. I have days when I want to hide away from everyone, days when I’m having a ‘bad skin day’ or I’m just feeling a disgruntled or fed-up- I’m only human. The Self-Love thing is definitely a muscle, but the more your work it, the easier it gets and the easier you’ll be on your self. Up until recently, I got so angry with myself for the way I treat myself during my illness- my self-talk and the way I constantly went over things in my head meant that I really feel it slowed down my recovery time. I wasn’t being my best self and in that way I was going against everything I knew was amazing and unique to me.

So, how can jump on the Self-Love bandwagon?

Click here.

Click here

and

then here.

You can also read one of the many Guest Interviews I’ve done on my blog- these ladies really know the importance of self-love and know how to keep their tanks full.

I’d also like to mention these beautiful ladies in particular. They all fly the Self-Love flag and have beautiful blogs which you can access at the click of a button:

: Tara Bliss at Such Different Skies

: Jess Ainscough at The Wellness Warrior

: Michelle Marie McGrath at Sacred Self

: Julie Parker from Beautiful You

: Rachel MacDonald from In Spaces Between

: Melissa Ambrosini from Path to Wellness

Website links: Tara Bliss at Such Different Skies // Jess Ainscough- The Wellness Warrior // Michelle Marie McGrath at Sacred Self // Julie Parker at Beautiful You // Rachel MacDonald from In Spaces Between // Melissa Ambrosini from Path to Wellness

Love and honour yourself enough to feel comfortable in your own skin, comfortable with where you are now and comfortable with how amazing you are.

How can you flex your Self-Love muscle today?

Love and more self-love,

Katie xx

Celebrating the Small Things

Celebrating the Small Things Inspiration No Responses »

Feb 182013

It took me a long time to accept during my period of illness that the magic of every day was in the little things- the things that some healthier people maybe took for granted. But whether you have CFS or not, there is knowledge and wisdom to be had celebrating the small things.

* Waking up and feel slightly more rested that you did before you went to bed

* Being able to move a little bit further than you did yesterday

* Enjoying a beautiful day without the sunlight hurting your eyes

* Listening to gorgeous bird song without feeing your head throb

* Enjoying a meal with your family, even if you can only manage a few spoonfuls

* Laughing and letting the laughter clear your head and heart

These are just a few things to be grateful for as you go through your journey. You will find that as you get better, you will automatically find reasons to be grateful. This won’t come easily, but it will come in time.

Love and laughter,

Katie

Image from here