A Letter to Chronic Fatigue

Sep 152015

This post is inspired by the beautiful and revolutionary Danielle LaPorte.

A Letter to Chronic Fatigue

Dear CFS, the Love of my life,

You’ve been with me through thick and thin, through good times and some incredibly bad times. I know you’ve been feeling that this was going to happen for a while, but I’m sorry to say that now that time has come. The time has come for me to thank you for all the blessings you have given me and for all the great, great lessons you’ve taught me. You will never know how grateful I am to you for all that you have given me.

You’ve made me scared, frightened, fearful and sick with worry.

You’ve made me feel hopeless, desperate and ashamed.

You’ve made me ache, made my writhe in pain, made me stay up all night, made me sleep until it’s impossible to sleep any more.

You’ve made me doubt myself, doubt my life, doubt my relationships.

You’ve made the possible impossible; the easy, mind-bendingly difficult; the ordinary, an extraordinary task.

But…

You’ve made me listen to the birds again.

You’ve made me watch and listen to the rustle of the tress once more.

You’ve made me realise that I’m pretty unique and goofy, and that’s ok.

You’ve made me appreciate the little things.

You’ve made me cry with gratitude at another day, another opportunity to live life.

You’ve made to give thanks for my amazing fiancé, supportive family and super friends.

You’ve made me realise that my life is here as a gift, and it’s mine to give in the most loving way I can to others, and to myself.

You’ve made me realise I am limitless. I am boundless. I am free.

That this world is worth the wait.

That people need my gifts.

That life is beautiful and glowingly sacred.

I am strong because of you. I am in love because of you. I am vulnerable because of you. I am myself because of you.

For that, my dear friend, I will always be truly grateful.

In love and abundant gratitude,

Katie xx

Are You Frightened of Change?

Aug 162015

Over the last few weeks and even as I sit here writing this today, change and the realisation that I might be frightened of change has been staring me right in the face. Even when I’m not looking for it, it keeps on popping up- in blogs posts, in articles on the internet, in my yoga practice, everywhere. Actually, I tell a lie, it hasn’t really been following me around- I’ve been open to accepting it into my life a lot more. This has highlighted where my limitations are- it’s incredibly uncomfortable, but I feel like I’m growing (such a beautiful feeling!) As much as we want to hold onto things around us and certain situations, the world around us and therefore our worlds are in constant, gentle flux.

When you’re ill with something like CFS for so long, there are moments when you’re going to want to play it safe (as in, pretty much most of the time). Who would want to go through relapse and the agony of starting at square one again, right? It’s embarrassing, uncomfortable and it feels like there’s now way out. You’re completely stuck and you’re pushed to the very limits of what you can handle and what you can’t…

…at least that’s what I thought for a while before I hopped on board the change wagon. Once you’re on, it becomes pretty impossible to get off.

This week, I’ve gone gluten-free and ramped up my yoga practice (I seem to have accidentally fallen in love with it, even though I wasn’t particularly mad on it before) Next week, more of the same, more reading, more catching up with friends after being a slight hermit (I blame Australian winters!) and less playing it small.

Would it really be so bad if you bought an audiobook that could change you life and committed to listening to it, instead of just buying it and putting it on the back-burner like you did last time? What’s the worst that could happen? You don’t like what they have to say and switch it off. Nobody got hurt, you saved face and at least you took the first step and tried.

Maybe you want to ditch the coffee and try a green smoothie? Honestly, it’s a completely no-brainer. You don’t have to like it, but you just might. They look disgusting, but they taste pretty flippin’ good, let me tell you.

No marathon running, no switching to a vegan diet overnight- just play it softly. Shift softly. The reality is, you can think about change until you’re blue in the face, but at the end of the day, you’ll still be where you are unless to make the change.

That’s all there is to it. Just try. Be courageous.

(These suggestions probably sound really patronising, but honestly, there was a time in my life when I was so scared of change and of doing something differently, of thinking about things a different way, that I became really, really stuck. Changing my diet or choosing to read different books were terrifying to me at the time. I would hate for the same thing to happen to you.)

Ask someone for help if you’re unsure. They’ll cheer you on as much as they can, with every fiber of their being, trust me. Ask me for help if you’re a bit lost and absolutely friggin’ petrified. I’ve got you. We’ve got you. You’ve got you.

I just want to leave you with this picture below, which really got me choked a few days ago.

If you want to change, you have to come unstuck.

change picture

Picture and design by the beautiful freshbysian.com

What change can you make today?

Love and evolving,

Katie xxx

Louise Hay’s Affirmations for Fear

Aug 132015

Having had a lot of time to think and read over recent weeks (click here to find out why!), I was gently guided back to the work of Louise Hay. Louise’s book, ‘You Can Heal Your Life’, as for so many people, was the first book that started taking me on a journey of physical wellbeing and eventual recovery from CFS.

As you might have noticed on my Facebook page last week, I shared not one, but two of Louise’s affirmations during the week, as I find they really help to ground me and keep me in the present moment. After having read Louise’s collaboration with Robert Holden, ‘Life Loves You’, I’ve been unable to stop myself from diving further into Louise’s teachings.

Louise Hay’s Affirmations for Fear

All of these gorgeously illustrated affirmations for fear and others for love, wealth, health, forgiveness and abundance can be found here on Louise’s website.

I find that not only do these affirmations for fear work with ‘obvious’ fears, when we’re feeling immediate panic for example, but I’ve also found them useful when I’m feeling like I don’t know what’s around the corner and I can feel myself trying to control outcomes in order to make myself feel more secure (typical type-A!)

Another of my favourite affirmations, which works well in many situations, is:

I am one with the Power that created me, I am safe. All is well in my world.

(Click here for more affirmations especially for fatigue.)

(I just had to include the last one with the kitten- gorgeous!)

How about you my darling? Do you use affirmations regularly? Do you have any favourites? I’d love you to let me know in the comments below- I might be able to learn some new ones!

Love, Katie xxx

(P.S. Life loves you!)

Guilt and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome : VIDEO

Jul 152015

It’s been a while since I’ve put a vlog together for you all, so I thought I’d talk about a topic which a lot of you seem to mention at the moment, which is…… guilt. Guilt and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome from my experience go hand-in-hand.

I can see you all nodding your head already…well, take a look at the video my lovely. I hope there’s something in it that resonates with you. Make sure you do your homework!

If guilt is an issue for you, please take a look at these other posts:

I’d love to hear your comments below- how does your illness make your feel guilty? Did your homework bring up any issues for you? I’m ready for you all, with a big hug and mug of tea!

Love and zero guilt,

Katie xx

Getting Honest With Yourself in CFS

Jul 152015

I’ve never considered myself to be a dishonest person. I’ve never told lies, and I don’t make a habit of it. When you look at the concept of honesty really closely, you’ll see that for most people, it means not being dishonest with other people. You don’t want to upset or disappoint someone else, you want to cover up for the fact that you don’t want to do something, you make over-elaborate excuses. Everyone does it and society, unfortunately, is full of it.

But have you ever stopped and thought about how honest you’re being with yourself? As ‘woo-woo’ as it sounds, this was one of the hardest things for me to deal with and it still challenges me every day. Having said that, getting honest with yourself in CFS is one of the most liberating stages on your journey.

Picture taken from here

I’ve always been incredibly independent, fiercely and stubbornly so, so having to move back in with my parents when I was 18 after my diagnosis was beyond all comprehension at the time. It was embarrassing, irritating and made me feel so small and defeated. My parents are two of the most wonderful people in the world, but taking this huge step was such a blow for me. Being reliant on them was even worse.

When I felt strong enough to go out, or even just go to the supermarket with my parents, I saw it as a huge achievement. I’d made it, there was no going back. I’d get stronger every day and then I’d be back to normal…until I woke up the morning realising that all my energy had been zapped in that one afternoon, leaving me with an empty tank once more. I know you know what I’m talking about- you want to use the slightest amount of energy when you’ve got it, not build up your reserves and take your time. Here is where I had to get really honest with myself. I had to pace it. I had to reserve my energy and work with it. I had to have faith.

This was a very long process. I’ve lost count of the number of times I said I was feeling fine to do something, when in fact I knew I was going to regret it the next day. My body begged me not to bother this time, but just to wait a day or two.

Here’s the thing. You have to honour yourself and be honest with yourself, especially in the early stages of recovery. You owe it to yourself and your life. If you know that saying ‘yes’ to the girly shopping trip (hours of walking and waiting around, chatting, trying on clothes) will leave you feel wiped out the next day, ask yourself if you should really do it. This doesn’t mean abandoning meeting people all together. Maybe you could meet for a lovely green juice in a cafe in the morning, and then let them get on with it. It’s heartbreaking, I know, but even more heartbreaking is the ultimate realisation that you are not looking after or honouring the most important being in your life. You.

There’ll never be another one. You. Are. Essential. You. Are. Divine.

I still struggle with this today, and have made many mistakes by letting my ego get the better of me. I’ve taken full-time jobs when I knew deep down that I wouldn’t be able to handle it and would barely be able to manage part-time. I’ve come home exhausted and barely able to speak, knowing that I should’ve listened to the warning signs and not gone to meet people after work. These actions were usually generated by what other people might/might not think of me if I did/didn’t do something. Dishonesty is a form of fear, and man, was I frightened. Just remember, the people that matter will only care about you and want what’s best for you.

You have to be honest with yourself so you can be honest with others.

I’m still working on this, and it’s hard and humiliating, but ultimately humbling. You need to prioritise yourself. I used to be terrible at this, but I’m getting a little better, day by day.

Love your vulnerability. Love being true to yourself. Let everything else fall away.

You.

Picture taken from here

Love and sincerity,

Katie x

5 Ways to Treat Brain Fog in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Jul 102015

The whole concept of Brain Fog really touches a nerve with me. I’ve never felt so weak and powerless as when I was having a ‘Brain Fog Day’. I felt as is everything I’d ever learned at school had somehow vanished and that all my brain cells had magically disappeared. I felt like a complete idiot- why am I getting my words mixed up? Why can’t I concentrate for 2 minutes? How do I treat Brain Fog? Even if your body is having a good day, you can often be left with this horrible, numb feeling in your head. For me, it felt like there was a big heavy grey cloud around my brain, that’s the only way I can describe it.

Photograph taken from here

What causes Brain Fog?

Although the exact causes are unknown, contributing factors include:

A lack of sleep or disruptions to your sleep cycle
If you’re experiencing pain, you might be mentally distracted by this for a prolonged period, which triggers a ‘numb’ feeling
Abnormal blood flow to the head
Depression
Interactions with medication

What are the Symptoms of Brain Fog?

For anyone who isn’t clear on what Brain Fog is, some of the symptoms include:

Becoming easily confused
Lack of ability to concentrate
Lack of ability to multi-task due to lack of concentration
Inability to recall words during a sentence (this was the main one for me!), forgetting why you started the sentence or mixing words around and not noticing
Short term memory problems
Inability to carry out simple calculations or mathematical problems
Losing things and not being able to find them, as you usually would
Becoming easily lost and disoriented in places you usually know well

Brain Fog generally tends to get worse when you are anxious, worried, rushed or dealing with too much information at once. It can also occur when you’re dealing with sensory overload, for example, too many bright lights or too much noise. I used to get completely overwhelmed in shopping centres and supermarkets, and would feel panicky and closed in. Once this had happened a few times, my parents knew to only offer to take me shopping to get me out of the house if they knew it was going to be quiet.

Help! I’m fed up of this! How can I Treat Brain Fog?

Luckily there are some things you can do to treat brain fog and go easy on yourself if you wake up and realise you’re having a ‘Brain Fog Day':

Recognise that today is a Brain Fog Day and sink into it. Don’t try and fight it, relax into it and let it go. Work within your limits, take regular time out and don’t get mad at yourself. Be patient and keep things simple. If you have to, tell people you’re having ‘one of those days’- they’ll appreciate and respect your honesty.
Drink as much fresh, filtered (if possible) water as you can. Sometimes, you might just be dehydrated. I constantly forgot to drink enough water when I was ill, it just seemed like too much effort. Water is incredibly important for our brain and bodies. You need to stay hydrated before you are thirsty- by the time you feel thirsty, it’s too late.
Avoid caffeine or energy drinks. It’s so tempting to just grab a coffee to alleviate Brain Fog and feeling tired, even just for a moment, but you’ll feel worse later on, and maybe even into the next day. Do it gradually, don’t go cold turkey all at once, but cutting out caffeine was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.
Get enough sleep. Sleeping for at least 8 hours is crucial. However, and I know this is so difficult to keep to if you’ve got CFS, don’t sleep too much or rely too much on sleeping tablets. You don’t want to do anything that’ll make you feel more Brain Fog the next day. Read this article for more bedtime tips.
Eat a nutritious diet, or if your appetite is a bit patchy, take a good multivitamin. Juices and smoothies can also really help when your appetite isn’t there, as well as these easy recipes. Your brain and body function on the nutrients you give it- let them thrive!

I hope these tips help you in some way. I know how terrible Brain Fog can feel and how much of a step back you think you’ve taken when you’re feeling like this. Know this this is your body’s way of healing and respect what it’s telling you. Once you accept this, you Brain Fog will lift as quickly as it arrived.

Love and lucidity,

Katie xxx

How to Cope with CFS Relapse

Jun 232015

“How to Cope with CFS Relapse” – this have to be the number 1 topic I’m asked about by my mentoring clients and via email.

Ooooh wow. Relapses, ey?! Don’t you just love ‘em. Just when you think you’re on the right track, you wake up one morning and you’re right back where you started…and you feel hurt, ashamed, disappointed and terrified.

‘One step forward, two steps back’ image taken from here

My Experience of Relapses

I’ve had a number of relapses during my time. Many of them were during times when I was actually managing to work full-time, but I definitely still wasn’t well. I ignored my body completely and ended up taking not just one day off with a cold, like most people, but at least a week. I knew if I woke up on a Monday morning, felt disgusting and phoned in sick, I knew without a doubt that I’d probably be off for a week. With hindsight, once I told myself this a few times, it was almost like I was setting myself up to take the week off, but I knew my body was weak and a relapse was what I needed for my body to tell me to slow down. I felt incredibly guilty about letting my colleagues and students down. I think this guilt most definitely prolonged my illness- I used to think so negatively and badly about myself.

Whether you’re working or not, you know what it feels like when it seems as though everyone in the world is fit and well and can hold down a 9-5, 5 days a week job without batting an eyelid. When I was at work, I pushed myself to be as good as, if not better than my colleagues, and never gave myself any slack or down time. I didn’t eat properly, didn’t exercise and self-care most definitely came last, so in a way, with all the stress and pressure I was putting on myself, it’s no wonder I relapsed.

Tips for CFS/M.E. Relapses

If you’re like me, relapses came to be unwelcome, but unfortunately very familiar friends. Here are some tips to carry you through these time when it feels like you’re back to square one again:

Know that this relapse is just a small set back on your road to healing and it does not mean that will never recover or are incapable of recovery. Brush it off and focus on the journey ahead.
Each relapse in the greater scheme of things is there to teach you something. Think back- how did you feel just before your relapse? (My throat and throat were incredibly painful just before mine, and I used to slur my words) Where you really looking after yourself? Did you find yourself getting stressed? How could you change this for next time?
If you can, write down how you’re feeling just before relapses and your symptoms in a journal. You can then refer back to it if it happens again, so you know what your triggers are. Try and find ways to reduce or stop these triggers altogether- then you’ll really be able to get a handle on what’s going on and be able to prevent or reduce possible relapses in the future.
As tempting as it is, do not wallow and give yourself a hard time. This is the worst thing you can do. Pretty soon, you’re swimming in negativity and wake up the next morning feeling worse (it took me ages to really realise that the more negative and ‘in my head’ I was, the worse my symptoms were, the more ‘brain-foggy’ I was and the longer my relapse lasted for – coincidence?!)
As soon as you’ve realised you’ve relapsed, do something lovely just for you- be incredibly kind to yourself, just as you would a family member or a friend. Negativity and anger at yourself is just wasted energy which can be much better spent on relaxing into recovery and for a better tomorrow.

If you’re going through a relapse just now, please know that you are not alone. We are here with you and we know what you’re going through. Think about the big picture and your journey as a whole- of course there will be set backs, but it makes the journey all the more interesting and enriching.

Love and the big picture,

Katie xxx

Picture taken from here

Symptoms of CFS

Apr 182015

One of the hardest things I had to do during my recovery and illness was explain my symptoms to people and the reasons I couldn’t do everyday things. On the surface, if you see someone with CFS, unless they’re in hospital or in bed, they don’t really look ill. This was one of the hardest things for me to get my head around and it used to really, really frustrate me when people said, “Oh, but you look great! What’s the matter with you?!”. With hindsight, I’ve come to understand that people express concern in different ways and to love that about others. But for those times when you really haven’t got the energy to speak or string sentences together, here is what you can show or give others to help explain your symptoms and situation:

CFS is an overwhelming, confusing and isolating illness which is debilitating, frustrating and feels never-ending.

Symptoms of CFS

Some symptoms of CFS include (but are not limited to!):

Tiredness

The clue is in the name, but it’s definitely more than “I’ve had a long day at work- please leave me alone” tiredness. Imagine having the worst hangover you could ever fathom, combined with flu and malaria, every single day. This is just a pinch of what people with CFS live with on a daily basis.

Feeling wiped out after a simple task

Putting clothes into the washing machine or picking up the vacuum cleaner used to be my biggest triggers. When I get inside my head too much, I clean, so I always went to cleaning when I needed to ‘do something’ (ie. aside from staying in bed and feeling useless). Despite my best intentions, I would usually end up back in bed or on the sofa breathless about a minute later.

Not being able to sleep

Now, hold on a second. Surely, if you’ve got CFS, sleep should be no problem for you! What’s going on?! Chronic insomnia and horrendous sleeping patterns are also major symptoms of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. At my worst, I slept for about 22 hours a day on and off, and often I would wake up at 11pm, read until 2am, sleep for 20 minutes, then be up again until 7am. Then, when everyone else was getting up to start their day, I’d be about to sleep properly. This kind of pattern takes months to crack and get back on schedule, but to a greater extent, you really can’t help it. Imagine this every day for months or years, and you can see how frustrating it could be.

Pain, headaches and muscle aches

All over your body. I remember even moving my fingers and toes at one stage was practically impossible and incredibly painful. It’s scary and it’s real.

Unable to cope with light or slight noises

I became hyper sensitive to noise especially. Even the slightest noise would send my nervous system into a panic that I found it difficult to calm down from. This might sound like an exaggeration, but it really isn’t. I could stand some light coming through my curtains, but found it easier to rest with the covers over my head. Light interference always used to cause unbearable headaches and migraines. Hence, busy shopping centres and supermarkets had to be avoided.

Beautiful head-in-hands sculpture-taken from here

Intermittent flu-like symptoms

Lowered immune system, fever, being unable to regulate your temperature, swollen glands, allergic reactions to things you used to be fine with, dizziness, the list goes on…

‘Brain-fog’ and other neurological symptoms

On a really bad day, I used to slur my words (so much so I apparently sounded drunk), forget really simple and usually memorable bits of information, forget vocabulary, experience balance problems, ringing in the ears, and so it continues.

Click here for more on brain fog.

Everyone is different, but for me, these were the worst symptoms. For a more extensive list, please visit ME CFS Australia’s website. Even now, if I haven’t been looking after myself properly, I very occasionally slur my words at night, but that rarely happens. As soon as it does, I know I have to slow things down and put myself first.

Please feel free to share your main symptoms in the comments below. It might feel sometimes like you’re alone, but you’re never alone. Please become part of our community through the Facebook page and we can help each other.

Love and rest,

Katie

Click here for more on diagnosing CFS and click here for some advice on dealing with doctors.

4 CFS Lessons from The Dalai Lama

Apr 082015

I was incredibly honoured recently to be able to attend a talk in Sydney with His Holiness, The Dalai Lama on his recent tour of Australia. I instinctively knew that there was something he had to say that would relate to CFS and that I could bring back to you. Scribbling notes in my little notebook in the dark while he was talking was such a thrill and I’d love to share with you all some of my insights into how his message relates so clearly to CFS/ME and to our individual and collective journeys.

The one thing I was left with above all else after the event was the incredible spirit, kindness and love radiating from this amazing man. He is incredibly witty, has an amazing sense of humour (click here for further proof!), but most of all he truly speaks from his heart, unafraid of what anyone might think or of other people’s agendas. His message is one of love for all, and he sees himself not as any kind of Guru or anointed messenger , but as a simple Buddhist monk. His humility and kindness of spirit were seen through the whole talk in the way he interacted with everyone around him. He truly is an incredibly special human being and I’m eternally grateful to have been able to hear him speak in person.

dalai laughing

Photograph of His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, taken from here

4 Lessons from The Dalai Lama

Lesson 1:

Everyone wants to be happy with no problems at all in their lives, but people create their own problems- they become a “slave of emotion”. Wow- this was definitely me throughout my illness, even towards the end when I knew it was all coming to an end. I kept obsessing about my health, and made my fearful thoughts into self-fulfilling prophecies. If you’re constantly thinking about CFS and all the ‘what ifs’ that play a huge part in it, then you end up being caught in a vicious circle that it’s incredibly hard to get out of. I know, I know- how the hell are you supposed to think about anything else when you’re feeling like this, right? You need to get out of your head and into your heart. Meditation is also amazing (trust me, I know people talk about meditation all the time, but it really is unbeatable).

Move away from the fear that you’re going to get worse if you go for a walk outside when you feel like it. Get someone to go with you- what’s the worst that can happen? You’ll come back to bed and give yourself a huge pat on the back, or you’ll get outside, discover that it’s too much and come back inside. Most of all, if you take these steps, you’re ever closer to cracking that fear barrier- what’s stopping you?

Lesson 2:

Relating to lesson 1, check in with your emotions frequently- are you actually causing negative emotions by beating yourself up about your illness? Are you being too hard on yourself? CFS is an illness where I’ve found to my detriment that the more you fight it and deny what is, the worse it gets. Acceptance is key. Mindfulness is key.

Lesson 3:

“Your happiness is my happiness. Your suffering is my suffering”- I wish I’d heard this when I was very ill and to a certain extent, took my anger out on my family and friends. All they wanted was for me to be happy, healthy and well. At the time, I interpreted it as them not accepting my illness and accusing me of being lazy. Cut your loved ones some slack, cut yourself some slack. As The Dalai Lama says, “Do not let anger develop- this is the real meaning of forgiveness“.

*(This is also the main reason I set up this website, so you can connect with others in a similar position to you and know that we share our dark times. You are not alone.)*

Lesson 4:

“Fear eats away at the immune system”- wow. This is something we all need to hear right now. When your body is in a perpetual state of fear, there is no room for love and your health suffers. Most of the time, you are not doing this consciously- your illness was not deliberately and consciously brought on by you. But perhaps the fear that led you into CFS caused your immune system to suffer and not let your body do its job properly. It’s far from easy, but learning to lean in to love and away from fear, is a life practice, but one that will reward you greatly.

dalai

Photograph taken from here

Let me know what you thought about these lessons- did any of them ring true for you? Comment below!

Leaning into love, Katie xxx

Does Gluten Free Help CFS?

Mar 202015

As many of you know from my Facebook page, I decided a few weeks ago to try going Gluten Free. There wasn’t any particular motivation around this aside from the fact that a friend encouraged me to try it for a week just to see what happened, as she’s been gluten-free for a while. I thought it’d also be great to encourage me to think a bit more creatively about meals and to be more mindful about my food. If you’ve been following my newsletter as well, you’ll know that I felt so great after week one, that I decided to keep on going with it!

gluten-bread-caution

Image taken from MindBodyGreen

Many of you have probably heard or read things about gluten, and “Does Gluten Free Help CFS?” is one the questions I get asked on a regular basis? It seems as though in every article I’ve written recently (such as this one for MindBodyGreen), someone mentions the link between CFS and gluten. I must admit, I hadn’t really looked into it too much while I was ill, and many of you might be wondering why I’m bothering to write this in the first place if I’m completely healed, right?! Well, sometimes, it’s good just to mix things up a bit. I do sometimes experience digestive issues, especially when stressed, so I thought going gluten-free would be a good way to monitor my digestive system and general wellbeing.

What the hell is gluten?

Gluten is the substance found in cereal grains that basically makes bread doughy and elastic-y- the gluten is the protein part of the grain. Although gluten can very sneakily be found hiding in many unsuspecting things (seriously, this article is scary!), wheat (also in the form of rye, barley,bulgar, spelt and durum – pasta!) is probably the main culprit. It’s incredibly surprising if you actually look at labels to see how much gluten or gluten-containing things are hidden in things we eat- seriously, after a few weeks of cooking gluten-free, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about! Things like chocolate, soy sauce and even vitamin pills seem to be riddled with the stuff.

What are the symptoms?

Funnily enough, many of them seem to be exactly the same as those that CFS/Fibro sufferers get! (Lovely!) Often, there might be more skin rashes or digestive issues if you have gluten troubles, but this is why it’s so hard to recognise. Click here for more information on symptoms and complications.

What does the research say?

As it stands (as with so many things in the CFS/Fibro arena), the small amount of research done suggests that there isn’t any clear overlap between celiac disease – the autoimmune disorder caused by gluten- and CFS/Fibromyaglia. Some people have claimed that cutting out gluten alone was enough to get rid of their symptoms completely, whereas some people say it really didn’t make that much difference to them. However, only 1% of the population have an incredibly severe reaction to gluten, so you can probably breath easy.

The gluten thing on further research is all a bit complicated. Lots of people have food sensitivities which come with their own host of symptoms or which can make CFS/Fibro symptoms worse. Some people might even have been misdiagnosed as having CFS when they actually have a severe gluten intolerance.

gluten

Image taken from here

So, what can I do about it?

If you’re not sure whether you’re intolerant to gluten or whether it’s worth investigating further with your doctor, keep a food diary for about 3 weeks. Do you notice your symptoms flair up the morning after you’ve had pasta for your evening meal? Do you feel incredibly sleepy and dozy after eating bread? Do you have digestive issues or discomfort after eating gluten? (If you have IBS, then it’s possible than gluten might makes things a little worse for example. Also, consider whether or not your IBS is a possible gluten sensitivity.) Write it all down and play around with things a little bit. If you can see a clear pattern, maybe it’s worth requesting an allergy test from your doctor. Unfortunately, if you’re severely gluten-intolerant, you can’t just do it 95% of the time- it’s an all or nothing job, as your symptoms will return and you’ll feel ill again.

What can I eat if I’m going gluten-free?

There are actually a few options, but triple-check the labels on things! Anything with flour in it, such as cakes, sauces and dough/pastry bases, also contain gluten. As I mentioned in this article, things like quinoa are supposed to be gluten-free, but aren’t as squeaky clean as most people first thought! (Boo!) Also, I found that some of the gluten-free substitutes just tasted absolutely awful. I found going to health food shops to buy gluten free bread and pasta a lot better in terms of taste and nutrients. You can eat:

fruits and vegetables
lentils, rice, quinoa (in theory!) and legumes
nuts and seeds
dairy products and eggs
lean meat and fish

However, always make sure you look on the labels of things if they say ‘gluten-free’. Gluten-free is a huge health craze at the moment, and even though the products might be free from gluten, there are sometimes lots of nasty chemicals and additives thrown in instead!

The Results of my Gluten-Free Experiment

After about 2-3 days, I didn’t feel as bloated as I sometimes used to and my stomach felt a lot calmer, like it didn’t have a huge stone in it. I didn’t have many stomach upsets, but I once accidentally ate a wrap made from wheat, and I really felt the difference afterwards! Going GF makes my stomach feel a lot lighter and even though I’m not gluten-intolerant, I definitely think cutting back on gluten is going to benefit me. So…I’m sticking with it!

So, over to you! Have you heard the reports about CFS/Fibromyalgia and gluten? Have you tried going gluten-free yourself? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Love and light,

Katie xx

How to Deal with a Diagnosis of CFS

Mar 112015

Picture taken from here

How to Deal with a Diagnosis of CFS

I will be forever grateful to the doctor who actually diagnosed my condition and got to the bottom of what was happening during such a confusing time for both my family and myself. When he gave us his opinion, something inside me clicked. Having initially thought it was leukaemia (probably due to low white blood cell count), he then examined the bloods again and altered his decision.

I think if you can find a doctor who is sympathetic towards CFS/ME, let alone diagnoses it, you’re doing very well. Every doctor I’ve met since then, whether for CFS-related things or not, with the exception of one, has dismissed my condition and immediately demanded that I had more blood tests. I made the mistake of having more tests a few years ago, even though I knew for a fact my bloods would be absolutely fine. Cue my doctor telling me that I’d probably get over it in a week or so, and me feeling just as confused, tired and down as when I’d first been diagnosed.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are some amazing doctors and specialists out there who are experts in their field and work incredibly hard to help hundreds of people recover. I’m not here to badmouth the medical profession. I lived in a tiny village in England, so my access to these people was limited. I therefore had to do something about my condition myself.

At the time of writing, there is no test for CFS. Basically, the doctors have to rule out everything before coming to that conclusion…and I mean, everything. I had ECGs, brain scans, chest x-rays, you name it. Nothing, nada, zilch. It was quite a scary time for everyone, but I think I was so tired from being dragged from appointment to appointment that I could barely even think about what was happening. The diagnosis didn’t really alter what was happening in my everyday life, and because there was no treatment as such, everything just went back to the way if was. My parents didn’t really know what to do, so just tried to make me eat and get me out and about. I was prescribed anti-depressants and sleeping tablets, but held on to the prescription for months and never used it. Something kept telling me that this wasn’t the answer for me. My Dad persuaded me to go on the anti-depressants- I lasted a month, felt the same, so came off them.

The truth about being diagnosed with CFS is that even though you now have a label and something that you can attribute your symptoms to, you still feel stuck. The key is trying different things, which unfortunately, takes quite a while. I think it took me about 3 years to really get a handle on thing. You can ask another doctor for a second opinion, you can treat symptoms individually (ie. headaches) and visit the doctor this way, you can explore alternative therapies, you can read books or you can alter your diet.

I hope in this blog I will be able to show you some things that have worked for me. I have decided however to add a disclaimer to the website, because even though these methods worked for me, they may not work for you. For example, I’ve always been vegetarian (since the age of 6- it caused quite a stir at primary school!, so meat does not play a part in my diet. However, you might need this for your recovery, and you should be open to including certain things in your diet.

I have every faith in your healing and your body’s ability to heal. It is up to you to know it and believe it.

Love,

Katie xx

For more on doctors and CFS diagnosis, click here.

For more on how healthy eating is only part of the battle(!), click here.

10 Best Quotes On Fear

Mar 062015

As many of you know, as well as writing a lot about CFS, I love writing about fear. I have danced with fear for such a long time now, but I mean this in a beautiful, loving way, not in a…well…fearful way. I’ve come to realise that I get scared when I’m on the verge of something personally ground-breaking or insightful (yes, cognitive insights seem to be part of it for me as well).

If you’re like and have experienced fear paralysis, let me share with you my top 10 best quotes on fear. If something clicks with you in particular, meditate or even journal on it to explore what that quote means for you on a deeper levels.

My Favourite Fear Quote

I read this on a postcard while in one of my favourite places, Byron Bay, and just had to buy it. I journalled on it and haunted by it for days. In that instance, I knew two things: 1) that I had a big problem with fear, and 2) that it was time to get a handle on it.

Anais Nin quote

Other Fabulous Fear Quotes

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” – Salvador Dali
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.” – Marianne Williamson
“Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realise that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvellously Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” – Louisa May Alcott (this one makes me shiver!)
“There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.” – Andre Gide
“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.” – Marilyn Ferguson
“We fear the thing we want the most.” – Robert Anthony
“Don’t be afraid to see what you see.” – Ronald Reagan
“We are afraid of the enormity of the possible.” – Emile M. Cioran

How about you my darling- which are your favourite quotes on fear? I’d love to add yours to my collection!

Love, Katie xx

Easy Ways to Get Nutrients into your Diet

Feb 272015

First, let’s start with a confession…well, it’s not really a confession. The thing is, I’m not a great cook- never have been. I used to hate Home Ec classes at school, much to the despair of my Mum and Grandmother who are amazing cooks. I’m a ‘follow the recipe’ kind person and I never really focussed on getting nutrients from my food. However, all this changed for the better when I started changing my diet and realised just how creative you could get in the kitchen, and most of the time, what I make turns out ok!

Let me just say that I know cooking, even eating sometimes, is really difficult with CFS. My diet after I returned to Uni, and probably for a lot of time during it, was embarrassingly awful. Anything that was quick and easy was always in my mind’s eye. My diet during Uni mainly consisted of toast and cereal. Yep, there we have it- quick, easy and absolutely zero nutrients. When I went into my last year a group of friends and I made a big deal of having two nice lunches a week, just to keep ourselves sane and have a chat more than anything. But I realised that nutrition and enjoying your food really does make a huge impact on your energy levels and can really help you without you having to really think about it.

Here are some great recipes you can make, or have someone else make, along with a few easy ways to get nutrients into your diet (and no, they’re not all veggie/vegan!):

1) Juices and smoothies

These are everyday essential for me. I usually have a smoothie for breakfast and a juice as a ‘snack’ in the afternoon- more recipes here! Adding spirulina gives them an extra nutritional kick.

juice

2) Soup

I absolutely love eating soup, I could eat it all day- so I’ve become pretty good at making it (if I do say so myself!)! This is great way to use up leftover veggies you have and to pack as many nutrients into a meal (an easily digestible meal) as possible. Two of my favourites include:

* Broccoli soup from Lee at the amazing Supercharged Food website- it sounds disgusting, but I started making it in batches for friends, I got so many requests!

* Vegetable (and chicken) soup with old-school soup mix (full of lentils, legumes and nutrients- it’s too easy!)

Photo taken from the Supercharged Food website

3) Vegan desserts

Now, before you tell me that you don’t do vegan- try this recipe for Raw Vegan Chocolate Cheesecake, courtesy of The Detoxinista. It will blow your socks off! My other half is in no way vegan and can’t get enough of this. Lots of gorgeous raw nuts, raw cacao (bursting with antioxidants), lemon juice, lots of goodness. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Photo taken from The Detoxinista’s website

4) Herbal Teas

Go for it- camomile, chai, dandelion (a great coffee substitute), rose, green tea (my personal favourite), peppermint, lavender (I know!), liquorice, fennel, nettle, lemongrass- the list goes. I would now much rather have herbal tea than coffee any day. It’s cheaper and you’ll feel more cleansed and lighter in the long run.

tea

Photo taken from here

5) Add flaxseed oil and chia seeds to recipes

Flaxseed oil is my nutritional secret. I put it on salads and take in in capsule form (1000mg a day). This is the supplement that really helped with brainfog and aching joints. Chia seeds also have amazing omegas (good) fatty acids in them which your body needs to work at its optimum level and are amazing for creating lasting energy. See this post by Jess at The Wellness Warrior for more chia seed inspiration.

chia

Photo taken from here

So, there we have it. I’ve just given you a few to start off with, but I just wanted to say again how important good nutrition is while you are recovering. As I mentioned in this article here on MindBodyGreen, junk food is a hell of a lot easier, but the nutrient content is zero. Do what’s right for your body and yourself and think about the nutrients your body needs.

Let me know if you have any more recipes you’d like to share!

Love and more of that Vegan Chocolate Cheesecake please,

Katie xxx

Page 1 of 312 3 »