How to Deal With People Thinking You’re Lazy When You Have CFS

Oct 262015

I’ve received lots of emails about this recently and it’s a recurring theme of conversation with my coaching clients, and so I just thought I’d put my thoughts into a post.

Along with all of these lovely choice phrases, “Why are you so lazy?” or words to that effect, might have been aimed at your recently or during your illness. This hurts…I mean, really, really stings.

Up until about x-days/weeks/months/years ago, you had it all figured out. You had a job/income, you had some form of social life, you were frequently in touch with your family and friends, you could string a sentence together and things were generally pretty good. But now you can’t move- you can’t remember the last time you opened the curtains (never mind went outside), you feel incredibly guilty for not bringing in a salary and you feel as if your friends can’t be bothered with you any more. Now, to top it all off, you’ve got people thinking you’re lazy when you have CFS!

im_not_lazy_im_sick_shirt-p235055099763546669ci54_325

Photo taken from here

Ooooh yep, I hear ya! I’ve had this and all you want to do is scream and shout, and let them know what’s really going on. You’ve told them over and over, but they still don’t get it. Luckily, there are some things you can do to make everything a little bit smoother for yourself and others.

+ Show them this article. If they still haven’t changed their tune, show them this one or this one. If you still don’t get a flinch out of them after this, ask yourself some serious questions.

+ Know that if you were going to invent an illness, CFS/ME would be it. It’s almost like a crazy junior school Biology project:

Teacher: “Ok, everyone- settle down. Now what I want you to do is work in groups and invent an illness. You must describe it and then present it in front of the class. You have 10 minutes- off you go!”

Student 1: “I know! How about something where you sleep for, like, 22 hours a day- like Sleeping Beauty!!”

Student 2: “Yeah, and you can’t go to work because you’re too busy sleeping and lying in bed and people have to feed you and stuff?!”

Everyone in group: “Yeah, that sounds amazing!!”

See the humour in it- it might just get you through those “I really want to break your arm right now (if I had the energy)” kind of moments.

+ The dictionary definition of ‘lazy’ is: “averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.” I have never, EVER met anyone with CFS/ME who is lazy. Most of the people I’ve spoken to are Type A Personality people and we do not do lazy. Perfectionist, yes. Lazy? Nooooo. People relapse with CFS precisely because they are not lazy- that’s half our trouble. We want to contribute to the world, to our lives, and so we push on and then make ourselves worse. Don’t you dare talk to me about laziness….! (Sorry, rant over!)

+ Understand at a cellular level that there is absolutely no way they can understand what you’re going through. No way. People can empathise, but they’ll only know it if they’ve been through it themselves. This might make you feel lonely or disconnected from everyone for a while, but it’s only temporary. Know that they just want to see you better, healthy and happy- ask for their help, even though they don’t understand this craziness. You look fine, so of course, they’re a bit confused (I remember wishing I could’ve broken my arm or something instead of having CFS- at least people can physically see there’s something wrong with you, right?)

+ You are still you. You are still you. You as a person and a beautiful soul have not changed. Your body is just taking some time out, because it needs it. Once you know who you are, and really know it and own it, those lazy comments will bounce right off you.

Smile, suck it up for a bit longer and know ultimately that these comments will stop. People will see how sick you are, not lazy, and will want to help in any way they can. Show them this website, point them to my Facebook page and show people that you’re not the only one going through this ‘laziness epidemic’.

I’d love to hear your comments below- have you ever been accused of being lazy?

Love, not laziness,

Katie xxx

A Letter to Chronic Fatigue

Sep 152015

This post is inspired by the beautiful and revolutionary Danielle LaPorte.

love letter Picture taken from here

A Letter to Chronic Fatigue

Dear CFS, the Love of my life,

You’ve been with me through thick and thin, through good times and some incredibly bad times. I know you’ve been feeling that this was going to happen for a while, but I’m sorry to say that now that time has come. The time has come for me to thank you for all the blessings you have given me and for all the great, great lessons you’ve taught me. You will never know how grateful I am to you for all that you have given me.

You’ve made me scared, frightened, fearful and sick with worry.

You’ve made me feel hopeless, desperate and ashamed.

You’ve made me ache, made my writhe in pain, made me stay up all night, made me sleep until it’s impossible to sleep any more.

You’ve made me doubt myself, doubt my life, doubt my relationships.

You’ve made the possible impossible; the easy, mind-bendingly difficult; the ordinary, an extraordinary task.

But…

You’ve made me listen to the birds again.

You’ve made me watch and listen to the rustle of the tress once more.

You’ve made me realise that I’m pretty unique and goofy, and that’s ok.

You’ve made me appreciate the little things.

You’ve made me cry with gratitude at another day, another opportunity to live life.

You’ve made to give thanks for my amazing fiancé, supportive family and super friends.

You’ve made me realise that my life is here as a gift, and it’s mine to give in the most loving way I can to others, and to myself.

You’ve made me realise I am limitless. I am boundless. I am free.

That this world is worth the wait.

That people need my gifts.

That life is beautiful and glowingly sacred.

I am strong because of you. I am in love because of you. I am vulnerable because of you. I am myself because of you.

For that, my dear friend, I will always be truly grateful.

In love and abundant gratitude,

Katie xx

Are You Frightened of Change?

Aug 162015

Over the last few weeks and even as I sit here writing this today, change and the realisation that I might be frightened of change has been staring me right in the face. Even when I’m not looking for it, it keeps on popping up- in blogs posts, in articles on the internet, in my yoga practice, everywhere. Actually, I tell a lie, it hasn’t really been following me around- I’ve been open to accepting it into my life a lot more. This has highlighted where my limitations are- it’s incredibly uncomfortable, but I feel like I’m growing (such a beautiful feeling!) As much as we want to hold onto things around us and certain situations, the world around us and therefore our worlds are in constant, gentle flux.

When you’re ill with something like CFS for so long, there are moments when you’re going to want to play it safe (as in, pretty much most of the time). Who would want to go through relapse and the agony of starting at square one again, right? It’s embarrassing, uncomfortable and it feels like there’s now way out. You’re completely stuck and you’re pushed to the very limits of what you can handle and what you can’t…

…at least that’s what I thought for a while before I hopped on board the change wagon. Once you’re on, it becomes pretty impossible to get off.

This week, I’ve gone gluten-free and ramped up my yoga practice (I seem to have accidentally fallen in love with it, even though I wasn’t particularly mad on it before) Next week, more of the same, more reading, more catching up with friends after being a slight hermit (I blame Australian winters!) and less playing it small.

Would it really be so bad if you bought an audiobook that could change you life and committed to listening to it, instead of just buying it and putting it on the back-burner like you did last time? What’s the worst that could happen? You don’t like what they have to say and switch it off. Nobody got hurt, you saved face and at least you took the first step and tried.

Maybe you want to ditch the coffee and try a green smoothie? Honestly, it’s a completely no-brainer. You don’t have to like it, but you just might. They look disgusting, but they taste pretty flippin’ good, let me tell you.

No marathon running, no switching to a vegan diet overnight- just play it softly. Shift softly. The reality is, you can think about change until you’re blue in the face, but at the end of the day, you’ll still be where you are unless to make the change.

That’s all there is to it. Just try. Be courageous.

(These suggestions probably sound really patronising, but honestly, there was a time in my life when I was so scared of change and of doing something differently, of thinking about things a different way, that I became really, really stuck. Changing my diet or choosing to read different books were terrifying to me at the time. I would hate for the same thing to happen to you.)

Ask someone for help if you’re unsure. They’ll cheer you on as much as they can, with every fiber of their being, trust me. Ask me for help if you’re a bit lost and absolutely friggin’ petrified. I’ve got you. We’ve got you. You’ve got you.

I just want to leave you with this picture below, which really got me choked a few days ago.

If you want to change, you have to come unstuck.

change picture

Picture and design by the beautiful freshbysian.com

What change can you make today?

Love and evolving,

Katie xxx

How to Cope With Losing Who You Once Were

Aug 042015

As many of you have read in my recovery story, my life as the typical Type-A personality career girl I was destined to be turned out to be completely different from anything I could every imagine. … I just need to stop and pause for a while after writing this- the difference between who I am now and who I was then is just so staggering. Wow.

candle Image taken from here

Having spoken to some of you on a one-to-one basis and having experienced all this myself, many of you are probably wondering how to move on from the past and how to cope with losing who you once were. Your body and mind want to hang on to what they know is safe- they want you to stay small, keep you in a bubble and protect you from more pain, and to be honest, when you’re feeling so vulnerable, feeling protected and secure is often what you instinctively want to do. You know what happened in the past, and you managed to get through it, so it’s comforting just to think about it some more. I know why it’s so difficult- in all honesty, you don’t really want to let go. There’s a vain glimmer of hope somewhere at the back of your mind that if you just keep thinking about what life was like before that you’ll somehow be able to relive it. That the sights, smells, colours and natural physical vitality you once felt come flooding back to you almost as quickly as you became sick, and you’ll wake up from this horrible nightmare that’s swallowed you and your life.

Acknowledging the Changes

My first realisation that I have to grieve some parts of my life wasn’t when I went to hospital, or was clawing along the walls trying to make it to the bathroom as you might think- it was when I came home just before Christmas and I had to deal with my school friends. We’d all just gone our separate ways to start University and the inevitable ‘I haven’t seen you for 3 months- isn’t Uni amazing?!’ pub meet-up had been in the calendar for months. My friends got in touch with me, not knowing I’d been ill, to arrange this night out. Thinking I just had the flu, they kept ringing me over the next few days. The calls then became sporadic ‘what’s the point, you’re probably not coming anyway’ texts…and then they just stopped altogether. Forever…

I was hurt, I mean really hurt. It wouldn’t have killed them to come and see me- I mean, it wasn’t like I was going anywhere, right? This really upset me for a few days, but one day, after I had no more tears left, I just melted into acceptance. How could they even begin to know what was going on with me? How could I even entertain having them in my life when I’m so ill? It’s not their fault- they did try to involve me. This had to be someone’s way of letting me know that I just need to be alone for a while.

Losing my friends and ‘grieving this loss’ however was just the first thing I had to let go of and forgive myself and the circumstances for. I came to grieve the loss of my freshers year at Uni, the loss of my physical strength and enjoyment of exercising, the loss of my thoughts which were seemingly always being carried away by someone else (they can’t have been thoughts that belonged to me.) I had to mourn the loss of my dream career, the loss of my independence, the loss of choice, fun and spontaneity, and more importantly, the loss of life.

Changing Emotions

I went through a period of being beyond angry- I just could not accept that things were going to be this way. I had to ‘wake-up’ from this soon, surely? I was angry with my parents, when all they’d done was care for me and made sure I was ok. I was angry with my friends for having abandoned me and for living out their Uni years in the way that I should’ve been.

I was angry with this stupid, stupid illness, but most of all, I was cripplingly angry with myself.

How to Accept Changes

Forgiveness became a vital part of my acceptance process- I have done a lot of forgiveness work, and I mean, a lot. It doesn’t have to be hard or dark or emotionally fraught. For me in fact, I always felt incredible lightness and clarity after doing it. It’s not the type of thing that can just be done or said once (there’s a lot of emotion to wade through), but it gets easier. You don’t feel as though you’re carrying so much anger around in your body, you might notice that you get in an extra half an hour of sleep than you normally would or just feel ‘different’.

After this comes the acceptance part. Oooooh boy. This is not easy, especially when every instinct in your body tells you that all you have to do is get on with things and you’ll snap out of it any day now. You want to get more medication, do more exercise and get on with your 9-5 careers- anything to show your body who’s in charge and that you’re really not that sick, honestly. But the truth is, as you probably know already, that this is the fastest way to relapse I know and shows that you’re really not listening to your body.

grieving-quote-1

Image taken from here

So, how can you move through all this?

Go easy on yourself. Write one of these. Do this. And this. Have fun. Love being in bed- you certainly won’t be able to do this as much when you’re healed and running around like a lunatic. Make friends with your illness- understand it and be kind to it. Be completely indulgent and go gaga for self-love.

Please know that for every little thing you have to lose, get angry with, forgive, accept and move on from, that there is something else bigger, more beautiful and more dazzling waiting for us at the other end. It cannot be any other way. For every tear, there’s a smile just waiting. For every heartache, there’s something just around the corner that’ll make your heart burst with joy. For every missed opportunity, there’s another one with your name engraved onto it in huge gold letters. For every ying, there’s a yang- this is how our world is balanced and maintained.

Think about how flippin’ great it’s all going to be. It doesn’t have to be great right now, but trust that one day it will be, and more than you could ever possibly know. More than I could ever possibly put into words or convey to you. There’s just love and it’s all for you.

Turn your loss into your greatest teacher and your heartache into outrageous courage.

Love and patience,

Katie xx

5 Ways to Treat Brain Fog in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Jul 102015

The whole concept of Brain Fog really touches a nerve with me. I’ve never felt so weak and powerless as when I was having a ‘Brain Fog Day’. I felt as is everything I’d ever learned at school had somehow vanished and that all my brain cells had magically disappeared. I felt like a complete idiot- why am I getting my words mixed up? Why can’t I concentrate for 2 minutes? How do I treat Brain Fog? Even if your body is having a good day, you can often be left with this horrible, numb feeling in your head. For me, it felt like there was a big heavy grey cloud around my brain, that’s the only way I can describe it.

Photograph taken from here

What causes Brain Fog?

Although the exact causes are unknown, contributing factors include:

A lack of sleep or disruptions to your sleep cycle
If you’re experiencing pain, you might be mentally distracted by this for a prolonged period, which triggers a ‘numb’ feeling
Abnormal blood flow to the head
Depression
Interactions with medication

What are the Symptoms of Brain Fog?

For anyone who isn’t clear on what Brain Fog is, some of the symptoms include:

Becoming easily confused
Lack of ability to concentrate
Lack of ability to multi-task due to lack of concentration
Inability to recall words during a sentence (this was the main one for me!), forgetting why you started the sentence or mixing words around and not noticing
Short term memory problems
Inability to carry out simple calculations or mathematical problems
Losing things and not being able to find them, as you usually would
Becoming easily lost and disoriented in places you usually know well

Brain Fog generally tends to get worse when you are anxious, worried, rushed or dealing with too much information at once. It can also occur when you’re dealing with sensory overload, for example, too many bright lights or too much noise. I used to get completely overwhelmed in shopping centres and supermarkets, and would feel panicky and closed in. Once this had happened a few times, my parents knew to only offer to take me shopping to get me out of the house if they knew it was going to be quiet.

Help! I’m fed up of this! How can I Treat Brain Fog?

Luckily there are some things you can do to treat brain fog and go easy on yourself if you wake up and realise you’re having a ‘Brain Fog Day':

Recognise that today is a Brain Fog Day and sink into it. Don’t try and fight it, relax into it and let it go. Work within your limits, take regular time out and don’t get mad at yourself. Be patient and keep things simple. If you have to, tell people you’re having ‘one of those days’- they’ll appreciate and respect your honesty.
Drink as much fresh, filtered (if possible) water as you can. Sometimes, you might just be dehydrated. I constantly forgot to drink enough water when I was ill, it just seemed like too much effort. Water is incredibly important for our brain and bodies. You need to stay hydrated before you are thirsty- by the time you feel thirsty, it’s too late.
Avoid caffeine or energy drinks. It’s so tempting to just grab a coffee to alleviate Brain Fog and feeling tired, even just for a moment, but you’ll feel worse later on, and maybe even into the next day. Do it gradually, don’t go cold turkey all at once, but cutting out caffeine was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.
Get enough sleep. Sleeping for at least 8 hours is crucial. However, and I know this is so difficult to keep to if you’ve got CFS, don’t sleep too much or rely too much on sleeping tablets. You don’t want to do anything that’ll make you feel more Brain Fog the next day. Read this article for more bedtime tips.
Eat a nutritious diet, or if your appetite is a bit patchy, take a good multivitamin. Juices and smoothies can also really help when your appetite isn’t there, as well as these easy recipes. Your brain and body function on the nutrients you give it- let them thrive!

I hope these tips help you in some way. I know how terrible Brain Fog can feel and how much of a step back you think you’ve taken when you’re feeling like this. Know this this is your body’s way of healing and respect what it’s telling you. Once you accept this, you Brain Fog will lift as quickly as it arrived.

Love and lucidity,

Katie xxx

How To Deal With Feeling Unworthy

Jun 122015

This post was written straight after a ‘kapow!’ session with the amazing Tara Bliss of Such Different Skies. Hop on over and pay my girl a visit- you won’t regret it!

“Your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness.” – Ram Dass

Let me put this out there straight away. I have been wrestling with feeling unworthy and undeserving my whole life, but none more so than at the moment I’m typing this.

You see, after being ill for so long and now having been well for so long, I feel like something’s going to trip me up somewhere. It’s all going too well. I don’t mean this in a ‘get me, I’m fantastic way’, but it’s more from a place of ‘wow, this is what life’s supposed to look like’ way. It’s amazing what happens when you stop struggling and just accept the blessings you’ve been given just for a moment.

It’s ok to feel lucky, it’s ok to have things to be grateful for. The world we live in can be terrifying, but it’s also awesome, phenomenal and completely, flabbergastingly incredible just by its very nature. We have seasons, days, cycles, minutes, earth, sky, the sun and the moon- working altogether to keep us safe and nourished in our beds at night…and we didn’t even lift a finger. If that doesn’t give us something to be grateful for, then I’m not 100% sure what will.

I’ve always been one of those people who prioritised others- as a teacher, it’s expected and it’s, basically, the job. Flog your guts out, deal with rubbish, try not to fall asleep on the journey home, do some more work and let your head hit the pillow. Rinse and repeat. I’ve been hardwired for this my whole life, as my parents always worked incredibly hard when my brother and I were younger, and they still do.

Now however, I find myself on the other side of world in my soul-place, Sydney, with beautiful weather, outstanding health, a ‘words-can’t begin to describe’ fiancé and a ‘pinch-me’ life. That’s not to say it’s always tickety-boo- there will always be ‘meh’ moments and struggles, but it’s all looking pretty sweet….so why do I feel like I don’t deserve this?

Because it seems too easy. Because it seems soul-felt. Because it seems natural and I’m bouncing on the great trampoline of soul-work. Because things are working out and I’m not flippin’ exhausted all the time. Because it doesn’t seem like work. Because I’m beginning to trust in something greater than me. Because connecting with you all on this blog just feels so amazing and like such an gifted privilege that’s going to be whipped out from under me the second I look away.

This feeling of unworthiness keeps me in the ‘it’s not all that’, pebble-grey bubble. It’s keeps me feelings that I still have to fight, that there’s still something wrong with my life, like everyone else’s, so I keep this feeling, because I need it.

Photo taken from here

But I don’t need it. I don’t need unworthiness to keep me small, to keep me struggling and to keep me from reaching up high and pulling on the chords of light up there that have tags with my name on them.

Just by being here, you are a worthy. You are worthy and deserving because you made it here, and you will be until your last day. You are therefore worthy of all the goodness in your life, whether you feel like you’ve done something to earn it or not.

You are worthy of abundant health and you deserve to be able to live a life full of energy and light. Do not stay stuck because you feel like illness is where you belong.

You are worthy of that chocolate milkshake after a long day.

You are worthy of having family and friends that love you and laugh with you, even when the joke isn’t funny.

You are worthy of your dreams, wanting more and filling your basket.

You are worthy of taking that long weekend you’ve been promising yourself for ages.

You are worthy of sitting in the park with a book and reading, guilt-free.

You are worthy of stillness, energy and light.

You are worthy of goodness, love, sincerity, openness, fun, frivolity and sheer, screeching joy.

You are worthy of just being here. now. in this moment.

You deserve to just ‘be’. You are worthy. You are love.

Love and worthiness,

Katie xxx

Managing Anger and CFS

Apr 132015

Image taken from here

This is a post I never really thought I’d write, but I’ve been called to write it after numerous emails from readers and questions from clients.

“How can I move on to loving and accepting my illness and myself when I’m so angry with my body and for the way things have turned out?”

I hear you. I hear you big time. Anger and CFS have played a huge part in my healing, but I had to admit that I was angry first and foremost (which is often the hardest part).

If there’s anything I’ve learned about myself during this whole process of recovering from CFS, it’s how to manage anger and accept it as a normal part of every life. In my family, as in many families, I was told that anger was a bad thing. You weren’t allowed to be angry and you definitely weren’t allowed to express your anger. This might be a part of the ‘British stiff upper lip’ character trait, but I know it doesn’t just apply to those from UK. Losing your temper or getting revved up in any kind of way is considered negative, ugly and ultimately is seen to reflect badly on you as a person.

anger Artwork taken from here

So, what do you do? You have 2 choices- 1) Let it out despite what people think or 2) Swallow it and don’t say anything.

Number 2 seems like a fairly easy option- it’s the least offensive and confrontational. But….it’s also the most toxic. Anger, like shame, lingers, creeps and builds up, causing a variety of illness and symptoms within the body if it is not released. For example, I was hospitalised with jaundice after I had Glandular Fever, which in energetic terms, is a clear sign of holding on to anger and feeling resentful.

Of course you’re angry that you got sick, of course there are days when you could scream out loud because you are so angry at the situation you’re in. My advice to you is:

LET IT OUT!

For the sake of your future health and wellbeing, do what you have to do to feel and express you anger. Recognise where in your body you feel the anger and let it pass.

* Hit a pillow

* Write your feelings down on paper, in a journal or a diary

* Stamp your feet

* Shout along to you favourite song

* Exercise if you can

* Tell someone (in a loving way without shouting) how you really feel, whether it’s about them, you or the situation you’re in- be honest

* Let yourself cry (and I mean really cry)

Expressing anger is a loving and non-offensive way for some people can take a lot of practise, but it is possible, and it is the best thing you can do for your emotional and physical health. Once you realise that anger is just another emotion and has the same weight as happiness, for example, you begin to accept and almost welcome it into your life. It’s an incredible opportunity for growth, self-realisation and most importantly, honesty.

What are you angry about and how can you express it lovingly?

Love and authenticity,

Katie xx

4 CFS Lessons from The Dalai Lama

Apr 082015

I was incredibly honoured recently to be able to attend a talk in Sydney with His Holiness, The Dalai Lama on his recent tour of Australia. I instinctively knew that there was something he had to say that would relate to CFS and that I could bring back to you. Scribbling notes in my little notebook in the dark while he was talking was such a thrill and I’d love to share with you all some of my insights into how his message relates so clearly to CFS/ME and to our individual and collective journeys.

The one thing I was left with above all else after the event was the incredible spirit, kindness and love radiating from this amazing man. He is incredibly witty, has an amazing sense of humour (click here for further proof!), but most of all he truly speaks from his heart, unafraid of what anyone might think or of other people’s agendas. His message is one of love for all, and he sees himself not as any kind of Guru or anointed messenger , but as a simple Buddhist monk. His humility and kindness of spirit were seen through the whole talk in the way he interacted with everyone around him. He truly is an incredibly special human being and I’m eternally grateful to have been able to hear him speak in person.

dalai laughing

Photograph of His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, taken from here

4 Lessons from The Dalai Lama

Lesson 1:

Everyone wants to be happy with no problems at all in their lives, but people create their own problems- they become a “slave of emotion”. Wow- this was definitely me throughout my illness, even towards the end when I knew it was all coming to an end. I kept obsessing about my health, and made my fearful thoughts into self-fulfilling prophecies. If you’re constantly thinking about CFS and all the ‘what ifs’ that play a huge part in it, then you end up being caught in a vicious circle that it’s incredibly hard to get out of. I know, I know- how the hell are you supposed to think about anything else when you’re feeling like this, right? You need to get out of your head and into your heart. Meditation is also amazing (trust me, I know people talk about meditation all the time, but it really is unbeatable).

Move away from the fear that you’re going to get worse if you go for a walk outside when you feel like it. Get someone to go with you- what’s the worst that can happen? You’ll come back to bed and give yourself a huge pat on the back, or you’ll get outside, discover that it’s too much and come back inside. Most of all, if you take these steps, you’re ever closer to cracking that fear barrier- what’s stopping you?

Lesson 2:

Relating to lesson 1, check in with your emotions frequently- are you actually causing negative emotions by beating yourself up about your illness? Are you being too hard on yourself? CFS is an illness where I’ve found to my detriment that the more you fight it and deny what is, the worse it gets. Acceptance is key. Mindfulness is key.

Lesson 3:

“Your happiness is my happiness. Your suffering is my suffering”- I wish I’d heard this when I was very ill and to a certain extent, took my anger out on my family and friends. All they wanted was for me to be happy, healthy and well. At the time, I interpreted it as them not accepting my illness and accusing me of being lazy. Cut your loved ones some slack, cut yourself some slack. As The Dalai Lama says, “Do not let anger develop- this is the real meaning of forgiveness“.

*(This is also the main reason I set up this website, so you can connect with others in a similar position to you and know that we share our dark times. You are not alone.)*

Lesson 4:

“Fear eats away at the immune system”- wow. This is something we all need to hear right now. When your body is in a perpetual state of fear, there is no room for love and your health suffers. Most of the time, you are not doing this consciously- your illness was not deliberately and consciously brought on by you. But perhaps the fear that led you into CFS caused your immune system to suffer and not let your body do its job properly. It’s far from easy, but learning to lean in to love and away from fear, is a life practice, but one that will reward you greatly.

dalai

Photograph taken from here

Let me know what you thought about these lessons- did any of them ring true for you? Comment below!

Leaning into love, Katie xxx

Easy Ways to Get Nutrients into your Diet

Feb 272015

First, let’s start with a confession…well, it’s not really a confession. The thing is, I’m not a great cook- never have been. I used to hate Home Ec classes at school, much to the despair of my Mum and Grandmother who are amazing cooks. I’m a ‘follow the recipe’ kind person and I never really focussed on getting nutrients from my food. However, all this changed for the better when I started changing my diet and realised just how creative you could get in the kitchen, and most of the time, what I make turns out ok!

Let me just say that I know cooking, even eating sometimes, is really difficult with CFS. My diet after I returned to Uni, and probably for a lot of time during it, was embarrassingly awful. Anything that was quick and easy was always in my mind’s eye. My diet during Uni mainly consisted of toast and cereal. Yep, there we have it- quick, easy and absolutely zero nutrients. When I went into my last year a group of friends and I made a big deal of having two nice lunches a week, just to keep ourselves sane and have a chat more than anything. But I realised that nutrition and enjoying your food really does make a huge impact on your energy levels and can really help you without you having to really think about it.

Here are some great recipes you can make, or have someone else make, along with a few easy ways to get nutrients into your diet (and no, they’re not all veggie/vegan!):

1) Juices and smoothies

These are everyday essential for me. I usually have a smoothie for breakfast and a juice as a ‘snack’ in the afternoon- more recipes here! Adding spirulina gives them an extra nutritional kick.

juice

2) Soup

I absolutely love eating soup, I could eat it all day- so I’ve become pretty good at making it (if I do say so myself!)! This is great way to use up leftover veggies you have and to pack as many nutrients into a meal (an easily digestible meal) as possible. Two of my favourites include:

* Broccoli soup from Lee at the amazing Supercharged Food website- it sounds disgusting, but I started making it in batches for friends, I got so many requests!

* Vegetable (and chicken) soup with old-school soup mix (full of lentils, legumes and nutrients- it’s too easy!)

Photo taken from the Supercharged Food website

3) Vegan desserts

Now, before you tell me that you don’t do vegan- try this recipe for Raw Vegan Chocolate Cheesecake, courtesy of The Detoxinista. It will blow your socks off! My other half is in no way vegan and can’t get enough of this. Lots of gorgeous raw nuts, raw cacao (bursting with antioxidants), lemon juice, lots of goodness. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Photo taken from The Detoxinista’s website

4) Herbal Teas

Go for it- camomile, chai, dandelion (a great coffee substitute), rose, green tea (my personal favourite), peppermint, lavender (I know!), liquorice, fennel, nettle, lemongrass- the list goes. I would now much rather have herbal tea than coffee any day. It’s cheaper and you’ll feel more cleansed and lighter in the long run.

tea

Photo taken from here

5) Add flaxseed oil and chia seeds to recipes

Flaxseed oil is my nutritional secret. I put it on salads and take in in capsule form (1000mg a day). This is the supplement that really helped with brainfog and aching joints. Chia seeds also have amazing omegas (good) fatty acids in them which your body needs to work at its optimum level and are amazing for creating lasting energy. See this post by Jess at The Wellness Warrior for more chia seed inspiration.

chia

Photo taken from here

So, there we have it. I’ve just given you a few to start off with, but I just wanted to say again how important good nutrition is while you are recovering. As I mentioned in this article here on MindBodyGreen, junk food is a hell of a lot easier, but the nutrient content is zero. Do what’s right for your body and yourself and think about the nutrients your body needs.

Let me know if you have any more recipes you’d like to share!

Love and more of that Vegan Chocolate Cheesecake please,

Katie xxx

Strength and Courage in CFS

Feb 262015

I’m sure that if I told you you were courageous right now, you’d probably tell me I was mad. But, you’d probably say something, then slowly turn back towards me, curious as to why I’d given you that now oh-so unfamiliar label. How can someone who feels so weak and helpless demonstrate outrageous courage and strength? How can strength and courage in CFS possibly go together? How can you, when you’ve been ill for so long, even begin to get your head around the fact that you’ve actually come a lot further than you realise and that you can cope with more than you know?

13-courage

Image taken from here

You’re stronger than you know because….

ultimately, you kinda have to be- you’ve got no choice.
you take comments like this and this, and just roll with it. It might be unpleasant, but you’re as gracious as always. As Wayne Dyer once said, “What other people think of me is none of my business.”
you are bearing such a huge physical and emotional burden right now. If other people knew how much you had to endure, they’d be in awe of you. However, even the warrior needs a break every now and then, and it’s always ok to cry.
in the midst of all this s#@* going on around you, you know deep down that you are still you. You are still here. Take strength and comfort from that, even if brain fog tells you otherwise.
finding the means to carry on with all of this ‘not-knowing’ will set you up great things in your big, bright future and you’ll be better for it.

You’re more courageous than you know because…

you’re hunting around on websites like this for answers and things that might help you heal. If you were scared of your illness, you wouldn’t be here.
you’re open to take your healing into your own hands.
you’re willing to try new things, even if this pushes you massively out of your comfort zone and you’re incredibly scared that anything you try’ll make you worse.
you’re willing to look at the root causes of your illness, even a tiny bit at a time. It’s unpleasant and you don’t like asking yourself these questions, but you might just discover something you didn’t know about yourself.
you know that this innate courage inside you is the one thing that’s going to carry you through the darkness and into your healing. Love it, look after it and remember it when the road gets bumpy. Only you can really heal you.

You-Gain-Strength---Eleanor-Roosevelt-Magnet-C11750665

Quote taken from here

Trust me my darling, you are stronger and more courageous than you think you are. You put up with so much rubbish day in, day out for days, weeks, month and years at a time, all the while questioning who you are, your self worth, your relationships, your career, your body, your past and your future.

Just know in the here and now, that I admire you for your courage, determination and strength. No-one ever told me this while I was ill, so I’m telling you now.

I’ve got your back. I know how hard it is. Everyone reading this knows how hard it is. Let it out….let it out….and trust your courage.

Remember, as Paulo Coelho once said, “An act of courage is always an act of love.”

Love and courage,

Katie xxx

If you enjoyed these inspirational quotes, there are plenty more in my new (FREE!) e-book! Click the green book image at the top of the page or below for instant access!

5 Ways To Feel Better When You’re Too Sick To Move

Feb 092015

This article was reblogged for my article featured on health and wellbeing website, MindBodyGreen.

Illness affects most of us at one point or another, whether it’s from an allergy a cold, or having to stay in bed for months — if not years — on end. I was in the latter category, having being diagnosed with M.E. (commonly known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or CFS) when I was 18. When we’re sick, we find ourselves automatically looking for ways to feel better. Spending so much time in bed gave me a lot of time to think, and I’ve definitely learned a lot from this experience.

Now that I’ve been CFS-free for three years, I often think about all the time I spent in bed. I used to hate being stuck there; I felt like I was wasting my life and missing out. I was in the same spot, staring at the same four walls, with the same thoughts I had yesterday.

sick in bed

Picture taken from here

But every cloud has a silver lining. Although being ill in bed is incredibly frustrating, here are a few things to remember while you recover and some ways to feel better when you’re too sick to move:

1. Don’t feel guilty for one moment.

By taking the day off sick, you’re prioritising your health and well-being. Give yourself a huge pat on the back. When I first started working full time, there was no way I would take a day off for anything. I thought that by dragging myself in when I was on death’s door, I was doing my colleagues a favour. It turns out that I really wasn’t, as not taking that single day off actually meant eventually taking another four days off because I was so sick. Prioritise your health and you’ll feel glad you did it further down the line.

2. Let other people help you.

This was a big one for me. People would volunteer to do my shopping for me when I was ill or run me to the doctor’s office. But in my complete haze of stubbornness, I was determined to do everything on my own. The last thing I wanted was for people to know I was ill.

Let others help you if they offer. You get no extra points for being a martyr. You’ll be doing others a service by accepting their help — people just want to know you’re OK.

3. Take each day at a time.

I know this is incredibly difficult, especially if you have a chronic illness. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is incredibly difficult when you have no idea how long the tunnel is. The only way you can do this by living in the moment. This term often gets thrown around a lot, but trust me, after years in bed, reliving the past or throwing yourself into the future is not giving your body what it needs.

4. Don’t push yourself.

If you have CFS or a chronic illness, you’ll hate those words, but this goes for anyone who’s had to take time off sick with the flu. Even if you think that going out for a run will make you feel better, tune in to your body and listen to it. Are you really going to feel better after running, or do you really need to just rest up? The little energy that you do have is for your body to repair itself. Your body can’t do its job if you’re completely ignoring it and pushing it. It took me years to learn this lesson once and for all.

5. Enjoy your recovery.

I know, I know — you feel awful and I’m telling you to enjoy yourself. Crazy, right?! I don’t mean throw a wild party; I’m just talking about really sinking into your recovery. When I work with clients, this is the main thing that gets them. They feel guilty for enjoying a DVD or for diving under the duvet with a book and not surfacing for a few days.

Stop the guilt. Your mind sends signals to your body that cause stress and therefore really hinder your recovery. You want to lie in your pyjamas all day? Do it! Slap on a face mask? Go for it! But whatever you do, do it with your whole heart and really enjoy it. As soon as you feel guilty, all of your good healing work goes to waste.

Do you feel guilty when you’re ill? I’d love to hear your comments below.

Love and guilt-free healing,

Katie xx

Energetic Healing and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Feb 012015

Speaking about Energetic Healing and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is something which I am really, really passionate about. I love reading about it and researching it. It all started with Caroline Myss’ book, ‘Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing’, in which Caroline, a Medical Intuitive and Healing expert, talks about chakras, blocks in our chakras and why some people don’t heal because of this. Chakras are an intricate part of our energy anatomy and need to work together in order for us to have healthy and happy lives. (For more on chakras and what each one means, please see this interactive diagram on Belinda Davidson’s page.) Before you go running and screaming, I was hugely sceptical about it too and had no idea what was going on. I just knew I was intrigued and wanted to know more.

Picture taken from here

However much I read, however, I knew I could only experience it to know for sure what it was all about and whether it worked for me. I was having terribly stomach trouble at the time, but was eating the same stuff, and I was pretty anxious about something I couldn’t put my finger on. The lady I saw said that my solar plexus chakra was blocked, which would explain my stomach troubles, and my third eye chakra was in overdrive (I’m a very visual person who thinks all the time- well, I was!) After my first treatment, much like the White Light healing sessions, I felt lighter, had next to no physical ailments and the world felt lighter and brighter. The lady I saw warned me not to go too crazy with this new found energy (I think you all know exactly what I’m talking about here!). So, what did I do?! You guessed it! I used up all my energy and was back to square one.

The next time I saw her, I knew I had to be sensible and went straight home afterwards and rested. During my sessions, I also uncovered lots of things I didn’t know about myself. I think I was holding on to a lot of anger from being ill and from my past decisions, which showed up in my liver (I had glandular fever a while ago and had jaundice as a result- something was definitely out of balance with my liver!). I would never consider myself to be an angry person, but our bodies store pent up emotions, and I’m a huge believer in mind-body medicine- that certain attitudes and thoughts can sometimes show up in our bodies as illness. After having a few sessions on my liver, I felt a lot better, even better than after my first session! After my sessions, I’ve continued to improve- I still have the occasional off-day, but so far, so good!

Sessions usually involve being in a very relaxed state. Sessions vary from person to person, and according to practitioner preferences, but can include meditations, aromatherapy, Reiki and affirmations- going in with an open mind is probably the best way to get the most from a session.

*Please note, as with all my posts, what works for me might not work for you, and I’m just sharing my story. Medical advice should be followed and I’m not claiming that Energy Healing will completely cure you in any way. I just know it’s absolutely fascinating!*

Have you ever tried Energetic Healing or know someone who has? I’d love to hear from you! This is just a brief introductory post, but I’ll be going into more detail soon.

Love and healing,

Katie xx

We are One

Jan 202015

That person on the bus that irritates you for no apparent reason. What can you learn from him?

The little girl that has boundless amounts of energy and never stops asking questions. What can you learn from her?

The grumpy guy at work who always seems to be sitting under a cloud. What can you learn from him?

The elderly couple at the end of your road who always link arms and walk arm-in-arm together. What can you learn from them?

Screaming, shouting and hurling insults at your other half. What can you learn from that?

Sitting in quiet contemplation, being alone and only listening to your inner voice. What can you learn from that?

What can you learn from yourself? What can others learn from you? What do you want others to learn from you?

We are all one. We are impatient, we are accountable, we are faithful, we are loving, we are volatile, we are boundless, we are empathy. We are one. We share and reflect the character traits of everyone we meet.

He is your brother. She is your sister.

We are vessels for emotion- energy in motion.